Not every golfer is a lady or gentleman

Two golfers, let’s call them John and David, had a huge bet and decided to play a match on a golf course that neither patronised often. As is the norm with such high stakes bets, there were a lot of arguments on reliefs and what was and wasn’t allowed on the round. Needless to say, the fellows weren’t enjoying the round very much and the only reason they kept going was neither was willing to back down.

When they teed off on the 18th hole, the match was all-square. John teed off first and pushed his ball into a bush. David’s ball was straight down the middle of the fairway. David pulled out his phone and started his stopwatch the moment he saw John’s caddie run into the bush to look for the ball. For avoidance of doubt, David asked John which ball (brand and number) that he had played from the tee in order to ascertain that he would not claim a stray ball from the bush. He couldn’t trust John.

The two golfers arrived at the area where the ball had disappeared. After a few minutes of searching, David started thinking that there was a possibility of winning the bet on account of John’s mishap.

Then David spotted John’s ball in a position, which he reckoned that John had a decent gap to the green. His hopes of taking the winnings and having the bragging rights were dashed. Then he realised that no one else knew that he had seen the ball. David did the unthinkable. He quietly slipped John’s ball into his pocket. He was not going to let the little matter of him finding his opponent’s ball stand in the way of his winning the bet. A few seconds later, just before the five minutes allowed for searching for a ball were over, John “found” his ball lying at the edge of the bush with ample space for him to swing his club.

The match ended all square and John and David have never played together since. The curious case of the cheats, is no longer uncommon. Every so often, we get to hear of golfers being disqualified and at times being suspended from their clubs due to “creative” scoring on the golf course.

Not every golfer in Kenya is a lady or gentleman. Not all can be trusted to tell the truth on their scores especially when there is a business class ticket to any destination in the world on offer.

The same selfish tendencies that are witnessed on roads where there is no courtesy and every driver is thinking of only himself, have crept into golf courses. A number of golfers, nay fraudsters, are now cheating to win.

GAME FOR LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

Despite there being a number of fraudsters masquerading as golfers, committees need to employ proper methods in determining the truth. Two years ago, a golfer was disqualified for cheating and the matter was brought to my attention since I was the captain at his home club, a few days after the player was denied the winning prize.

The captain who disqualified him wanted to set an example by naming and shaming the golfer. My first reaction was to request that captain to send me a copy of the player’s scorecard.

I followed the correct procedure of checking with the marker who did not know the player prior to the date. I asked him to recall how the player had played on some of the holes. I picked the ones that the player had scored well. I asked the marker to recount how the player played shot by shot on six of the 18 holes. The marker happened to be one those golfers with a good memory and he could still remember how the player had played. I then called the player, and he repeated the same scores given by his marker, shot by shot.

I then called the captain who had disqualified the player and asked him if he had checked with the player or his marker. His answer was NO. Had he checked with any of the other golfers in his four ball? No. What was the source of his information? The player’s caddie. And, oh, the caddie happened to have carried for the eventual winner who had played in the afternoon. The disqualified golfer had played in the morning. It is against the principles of natural justice to disqualify a player for cheating without allowing him or her to defend themselves.

It is also the normal procedure to ask the marker and then the rest of the golfers in the group before asking the caddie. For those that have the notion that they shall get rich from cheating in golf; my advice to them is to try their hand in politics. That is the only place where cheats get good money.

Golf is a game for ladies and gentlemen. No cheats allowed. Not all of us will become as famous as Tiger Woods. The majority of us just play for the challenge that the game presents. If that is not enough, move on, this game is not for you.