Help! My wife won’t shower at night despite being allergic to deo


For most women, sexual intercourse is very dependent on the mental and emotional state

Wednesday March 18 2020

Dr Flo,
Thank you for continuously helping people in distress. I have a problem that is becoming difficult for me to address. My wife of 11 years doesn’t like bathing in the evening and she is allergic to roll-ons. In the evenings, she smells of sweat, but she won’t shower. The worst thing is that even her private parts tend to be smelly and this is negatively affecting our sex life. This has been worsening over time and I’m finding it very difficult to engage with her. My efforts to address this has fallen on deaf ears and even when I take a bath as an example she won’t budge. How can I make her understand what I’m going through and the fact that she is creating a rift in our sex life?

Dear KW,
The communication issue with your wife seems to be long-standing and I suppose may also affect other areas of your life. A good approach is to set a conducive environment to have the discussion, and calmly explain how you feel about the state of affairs and how it has affected you, without blaming her, just focusing on how you feel, then invite her to respond with how she feels about the situation. It would be helpful to find out the reason behind her decisions. For most women, sexual intercourse is very dependent on the mental and emotional state, and not preparing for it may be her way of expressing lack of interest or her objection to it or something else. If it is agreeable to both of you, a trusted third party may also be involved to help negotiate the underlying issues.

Dr Flo,
My feet get smelly whenever I put on my shoes — both closed and open — for almost a month now. I also developed rashes on my face that have been there for almost two years now. What are the remedies for my problems?

Dear Kamau,
Smelly feet are usually caused by sweating and wearing the same shoes every day. Everybody can have sweaty feet, but this is more in teenagers and pregnant women due to hormonal changes. Your feet may also sweat more if you are on your feet all day, if you wear tight shoes, if you are stressed or if you have a medical condition which makes you sweat excessively (hyperhidrosis). When this sweat is absorbed by the shoes and they are not cleaned or aired appropriately before being worn again, they make the feet smell. This sweating also makes it easier to get a fungal infection on the feet and between the toes, which also contributes to the smell.
To manage it, clean your feet at least once a day, with antibacterial soap, if possible, then dry your feet well, especially between the toes. Wear cotton socks, change socks daily, wear leather or canvas shoes and avoid plastic shoes, do not wear the same pair of shoes two days in a row, so as to give them at least 24 hours to dry. You can use foot powder to absorb sweat and keep toe nails short and clean. Remove any hard skin under the toe nails. If you have any infection, it should be treated.
The rashes on the face maybe pimples, which are small swellings on the skin caused by blockage of skin pores by excess oil (sebum), dead skin cells and bacteria. Further, irritation and/or infection can make the situation worse, causing bigger swellings, some of which are painful, and which can heal with scarring. To manage the pimples, clean your face in the morning and before going to bed with warm water and a mild cleanser. Avoid scrubbing your face as it makes pimples worse. Also, eat a lot of vegetables, take a lot of water and avoid picking or squeezing the pimples. In addition, avoid touching your face and use sunscreen. See a skin specialist to get treatment that is specific for the kind of pimples you have. But, you must patient as clearing pimples takes time.

Dr Flo,
I wear spectacles and on a visit to a physician, she diagnosed me with cataracts of both eyes. What is the cause of this eye ailment? Could exposure to sunlight or voracious reading cause this? Can laser surgery be used? Can cataract surgery be performed without the use of anaesthesia? Please enlighten me.

Dear ADW,
The eyes have a clear lens through which light passes and is focused on the back of the eye (retina), so that you can see sharp and clear images. With age, this lens becomes less flexible, thicker and cloudy, and this is called a cataract. This happens progressively over time and eventually it interferes with your vision and your everyday activities. Cataracts form in both eyes though they may be at different stages, so the vision is different in the two eyes. Symptoms include blurry vision, difficulty seeing at night, need for more light so as to be able to read, seeing a halo around lights, changing prescription eyeglasses frequently, double vision and fading of colours. Factors that increase your risk of developing cataracts include older age, obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, smoking, excessive alcohol intake, long term use of steroids, genetic disorders, and previous eye injury or surgery. Excessive exposure to light also increases the risk of developing cataracts.
Cataract surgery is done when the clouded vision starts to affect your everyday activities. During the surgery, the cloudy lens is removed and replaced with a clear artificial lens. If you have a condition prohibiting the use of an artificial lens, the cataract is removed and you are given prescription glasses. Laser technology cannot be used for this procedure. Anaesthesia is applied to the eye to eliminate pain during the procedure, which is usually performed when you are awake. The procedure is done in an outpatient set-up and healing takes about eight weeks.

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