Please help! I have been masturbating for the last 12 years
Masturbation becomes an unnatural way used by many adolescents and adults alike either out of curiosity or by being initiated into it by others.
What you need to know:
- In some circles, masturbation may be linked to a lack of love and support while growing up.
- Many in society may discuss the issue of masturbation, with disdain and judgment.
I have been masturbating since 2012. I have done everything to stop this behavioural addiction but in the end, I find myself in the act again! Please help me to stop it. Seriously I'm tired of it. I shared the story with my girlfriend and she was disappointed and broke up with me …I have a lot of fears that I might be having low sperm count. I'm depressed.
Hi,
Having sex urges is not a sin. God created humans with the need for sexual satisfaction. God blessed the man and woman He had made and saw that everything was good. There are many people today who seek sexual satisfaction albeit in the wrong ways. Masturbation is the seeking to get sexually aroused to achieve the intended sexual pleasure of sexual satisfaction.
Consequently, masturbation becomes an unnatural way used by many adolescents and adults alike either out of curiosity or by being initiated into it by others, or out of watching sexually explicit material. I am not sure how it all started, but it is good that you desire to stop the practice.
In some circles, masturbation may be linked to a lack of love and support while growing up. Having been in the practice since 2012 may speak of the maturity of the habit you have engaged in. However, there is nothing that can’t change particularly where there is a will and desire for change.
Many in society may discuss the issue of masturbation, with disdain and judgment. However, morally, the judgmental attitudes of some mat arouse feelings of shame, distress, depression, guilt or even low self-esteem. Understanding what triggers this habit will help you get to the root of the cycle so that you can break it. Without appearing preachy, our sexuality as created male and female was meant to bring enjoyment not condemnation.
Practically, masturbation is choosing to have 'sex’ with oneself. This leaves many of those caught in the habit feeling like they violated their self-image. The feelings of guilt and shame arise. The way you handle your desired exit is important. While I thank you for sharing, I must commend you for the steps you have taken to seek help. Therefore, dealing with this issue gently and with sobriety will in the end build a strong existence.
First, seek to deal with inner fears, guilt and the psychological impact this may have had on you. Start by forgiving yourself and maybe others that could have initiated you into the habit.
Rebuild your self-image by affirming who you are. Second, identify and look for ways of avoiding the triggers of the desire to masturbate. Right practices and actions will come from the right beliefs.
It is therefore important that you be careful of the things that influence what you think. If you find yourself unable to deal with the habit; acknowledge this and seek help in dealing with it. Another important concern has to do with the process.
You have to acknowledge this process will take effort. Remember, you have been in the habit for the last 12 years. Third, have a strong resolve and focus. Don’t allow yourself to be side-tracked. Confide in a close friend who can be an accountability partner. Fourth, don’t engage yourself in activities that will make you vulnerable to falling back. Fifth, set clear goals for yourself and learn to say no to being side-tracked.
Self-control will be needed as you set and follow the goals you have put in place. I am sorry about your girlfriend.
However, my prayer is that you may focus on beating the habit first before you worry about your girlfriend. Building new and healthy habits and practices will be essential in a healthy and thriving relationship. I may not be sure why she reacted that way, but it could have been out of disappointment.
Building healthy sexual habits will start by carefully choosing your associations, how you entertain yourself, and rebuilding a new thought pattern on matters of sexuality.
For example, watch the right movies, be careful which online sites you visit, and determine the language and environment that will help you build your new self. If you are a spiritual person, seek support spiritually through prayer and counselling with your spiritual leader.
This will take a lot of courage and determination. Self-denial or fear will only aid a relapse. I believe you can build the necessary resolve to move forward. Finally, avoid the company or words of those who would seek to demean or judge you. Be clear about what you want and go for it. I believe this is also what God would want for you.
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