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JUST BRENDA: My wife is chatting up her exes and it hurts

Tuesday June 20 2017
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My problem is that my wife is still in contact with her exes. They still call in my presence and it hurts me to hear her telling them she misses them and reminiscing about the good times they had.. FILE PHOTO

By BRENDA OKOTH

Dear Brenda,

I need help!

I am a 25-year-old married father of one son. Ours is a come-we-stay arrangement. My problem is that my wife is still in contact with her exes. They still call in my presence and it hurts me to hear her telling them she misses them and reminiscing about the good times they had. I have talked to her about this but nothing changes.

I am beginning to think it is because I haven’t paid her dowry. I have thought of leaving many times but I stay because of my son. How do I go about this?

There is one thing that you have wrong. The payment of dowry isn’t what validates a relationship. A good relationship comes from love and respect between two people, whether dowry has been paid or not.

This woman doesn’t seem as committed to this relationship as you are. You seem like a place-holder while she waits for someone she can commit to. Ask her exactly where she stands, where your relationship is headed and then make your decision.

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