Everyone wants their children to do well. And to become successful adults and to have happy families of their own. But these days, that seems very hard.
So is there anything you can you do while they’re growing up, that will help your children make a success of their marriage lives?
Well, first of all, recognise that there’s a limit to what you can do. Like you can’t change their personalities, and their friends have a bigger impact on them than you do!
But your influence is still important, so make the most of it. Just don’t get stressed if they insist on making their own way!
And don’t try to tell them what to do - they won’t listen anyway. Instead it’s far better to show them your values by the way you live your life. It’s especially important for them to see how much you and your spouse love one another.
Because children learn how men and women behave from their parents. Teach them to be kind. Have consistent rules around the house so they’ll grow up confident and self assured.
Teach them to listen, by listening to them. And don’t let them grow up shy!
Instead, coach them in the social skills that they’ll need as adults, and help them meet lots of small kids to practice on!
And talk to them. Children need to be reassured that they’re doing well, and they need to hear it from you. Even if you think you’re only telling them what they already know. And challenge them whenever you think something is wrong. It shows that you care, and that running away from a problem is not the solution.
Discuss the facts of life with them, especially as they get older. And don’t try to scare them away from sex. That’ll just tempt them out of rebellion.
Instead, explain that sex is wonderful, but there are dangers. And so there are skills that they’ll need to acquire before they start. Like learning to make good choices.
So help them to see that even small decisions can make a big difference. Like getting their homework done before they flake out on their phones.
Help them to understand that it’s their own efforts that will determine how successful they are in life.
And that includes finding a spouse! Persuade them that practicing their social skills and developing their career, should be their first priority as young adults.
Not making out. Especially as young people are marrying later these days. Explain that it’s important for young men to succeed in the world of work, if they’re to attract a good wife.
And that it’s always the woman who makes the decisions in courtship. So young women need to learn how to choose well!
Gradually give your children more freedom as their judgment improves, and encourage them to become truly independent adults. It’s difficult, but your reward will be seeing them doing the same for your grandchildren!