Those intense feelings can gradually deepen into true love

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What you need to know:

  • Love at first sight is a purely physical attraction driven by your idealised subconscious image of a perfect partner.
  • Gradually, you start to notice that you know each other better than you know yourselves.

Your eyes meet across a crowded room and suddenly your heart is racing. It’s love at first sight! The stuff of romantic novels. But does it really happen?

Yes, it certainly does though it’s actually incredibly rare. And really quite scary. People who’ve felt love at first sight say it’s the most dramatic and overwhelming thing that ever happened to them. And one thing’s for sure, if it happens to you, it’s not something you can ignore! At least for the moment.

Because however wonderful they feel, those intense feelings don’t usually work out. Love at first sight is a purely physical attraction driven by your idealised subconscious image of a perfect partner. And all that’s really happened is that your new love has exactly matched your innermost fantasy, you’ve matched theirs, and you were both in exactly the right mood at the same time!

ROMANTIC

But it’s still a lovely feeling, and so incredibly sensual it’s no wonder films are made about it! It’s so intensely romantic and emotional that you’re suddenly sure that you’ve met the one for you.

But have you? That will take a little longer to find out. Because love at first sight’s driven by hormones that also make you romanticise your new lover. So you don’t notice their faults, at least for a while. Which means you still have to learn all about each other, and go through all the usual stages of courtship. And most times something doesn’t match and everything falls apart.

But occasionally everything does go exactly right, and those intense feelings do gradually deepen into true love.

Things are heading in that direction if you quickly realise that your sense of humour matches theirs, and that you can be completely honestly together.

When the inevitable difficulties come up, you’re able to exchange opinions without criticising or tearing each other apart. You resolve disagreements successfully, and quickly forgive and apologise. Words like ‘I’m sorry’, and ‘I was wrong’ won’t ever come easily. But a good sign that you’re meant for each other is that you don’t use apologies as an opportunity to make each other feel bad.

FAVOURITE FOODS

Gradually, you start to notice that you know each other better than you know yourselves. Clothes sizes, favourite foods, hopes and fears. Everything. And you start giving each other insights into yourselves that you could never have discovered on your own.

You soon find that you far prefer just hanging out together to going on expensive dinner dates. Even ordinary everyday events feel romantic, like doing the shopping together, or binge watching your favourite movies.

You discover that you have a deep sexual chemistry. You touch and kiss each other confidently. You’re tender, and yet adventurous, endlessly tease one another, and easily find time for intimacy no matter how busy your lives are.

And because you know just how to please one another, and are honest and caring, chances are you’ll never ever part.

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