Help! My colleague has sabotaged my promotion process

My line manager recently informed me that I was being considered to fill in a newly vacated supervisory role, and that this would be confirmed once the final approval was granted.

In my excitement, I shared this information with a colleague whom I considered a friend, but he used it against me. He used his connections and ended up getting the job. I feel betrayed, bitter and frustrated, but I can’t quit because I need money. How should I handle this?

Cases of betrayal at the workplace are not uncommon. It could be a colleague taking credit for work done by others, or another taking over a client using unorthodox means, or someone colluding with friends to get ahead in their career.

Whatever the circumstance, betrayal is trust broken. It leaves us shocked, upset and insecure, and may make us feel guilty.  As you have stated here, there is a reason this job is important to you at this time. Therefore, make every effort to safeguard the good relationship you have with your supervisor.

He is guilty

Your colleague’s silence may be an indication that he is guilty. Choosing not to apologise is also a clear indication that your friendship is no longer what it used to be. It also says a lot about his values.

Taking advantage of the information shared in confidence and then using it for personal gain points to a self-centered person who can do anything, including hurting those around them, to achieve their desires. Waiting for an apology from such a person may be an exercise in futility, so be the bigger person and reach out to him. Do this for your own good.

Consider this statement: “Congratulations on your promotion. I wish you well and although you went behind my back, I would like to put this behind us”.

When you say this, it does not mean that you are weak. It shows that you are willing to bury the hatchet. It amplifies your good character and values, and frees you to enjoy your work peacefully.

Whether or not he responds or apologises is not your concern. Your most important lesson in all this is that you should choose your friends wisely, be more discerning about of who to trust, and never to allow others to control your emotions.

Continue to be excellent in your job and I am sure your hard work and diligence will be rewarded either within the organisation, or elsewhere.

Millennial HR

www.millenialhr.com