HEART ADVICE: Why can't I find my Ms Right?

I am in my early 30s, a graduate, and a born again Christian. The biological clock is ticking quickly yet I have not found a lover. So many women admire me yet no one matches my choice of education and behaviour. All my former school classmates have married. I am a serious person, sociable, analytical, extroverted, and one who is secretive. I am a lecturer in the making. I want to use this platform to get a lover, who can match my qualities. Masho

READERS ADVICE

A prudent wife is from the Lord. As a born again Christian let that verse guide you. Otherwise, you have put too much emphasis on your level of education and behaviour. Yes, you need someone in your class but that's not a guarantee of a good wife. Get a wife who will tolerate you, and still love you. Marriage is a two-way partnership, you also give way, it should not always be your way. As you continue to look for a wife who can match your qualities, know that women out there are also looking for Mr. Right. Come out of the box. Magoto

I first would like to commend you for having so much self-awareness. You also understand the kind of life partner you would like to have. However, to get this right partner, you must be ready to socialise. Though you are a serious guy, it's good to adjust yourself to have an easier time with ladies. Don't be very analytical since nobody is perfect. A good education is important but should not be the main yardstick to help in deciding whom to marry. Look for a person of good morals, loving, kind, and understanding, who also subscribes to your faith. John Wambugu via email

You are indeed living in a dream, yes underline the word 'dream'. I have to drive some bit of sense in you. There is a difference between life and education. There are lecturers whom if you met today without being told, you wouldn't know.

You have mentioned certain things here that make me wonder the real person you are. You have not married or gotten any serious lady to date because you are suffering from 'cheap pride'. Wake up from your deep sleep and know that love life and marriage do not correlate with education. As an elite, never confuse wisdom and knowledge. You may be educated but you act foolishly because you lack wisdom.

Stop your cheap pride and face life. Leave your 'education' out of this! Ouma Ragumo – Sifuyo

The first step into a long-time commitment is defining what you want and I am happy that you've already passed that stage. Marriage is a lifetime commitment should not be dictated by peers because after all friends and classmates will celebrate you for a decade and then for the entire tenure, it's you and your family. Let the issue of all your former classmates having married not bother you. Lennis Muriuki.

EXPERT TAKE

It is always a bonus to know who you are and what you stand for in regards to values. However, the reason you fail to find a compatible is most likely due to you meeting a pool of women who do not fit in with your lifestyle. In my opinion, you need to find a potential partner who is also a born-again Christian and not a one who you think you will groom to be what you want her to be. It would be unfortunate to find a woman who cannot be your long term partner. I would also advise that you play down your persona otherwise you might negatively represent what you are really about and scare away a potential suitor.

NEXT WEEK'S DILEMMA

I am a first-year university student. I'm not blowing my own trumpet but I believe am good and have the qualities that ladies associate with—a good boy. This has been a problem for me as I can barely get myself a girlfriend. They say am too funny, a quality friend but can't see me above that. My style is usually to bond first before declaring a title. Is this the problem, do I take too long? I am eyeing someone right now and it going to be my last shot. She's my third attempt in 16 months. Derrick

Have a pressing relationship dilemma? Email us on [email protected]