What you need to know:
If you long for a vibrant career or a healthy functioning relationship, then stop saying that you are leaving things to fate to see what will happen.
Create your life experiences one choice at a time.
We are living in a time when the systems around us have made it so that having more than just one option in many areas of our lives is a luxury, so why don’t you want to make a decision the few times you actually can?
As you ponder about which of the two good schools near your home has a better menu so that you can enrol your child, there is a woman somewhere in this country whose child goes on foot to a school that is three kilometres away because it’s the closest to them.
As you are torn between the two well-equipped hospitals in your neighbourhood, wondering which one has kinder nurses so that you can deliver your child there, there is a woman who is looking for a traditional birth attendant because she knows she can’t make it to the sole, ill-equipped hospital 37 kilometres away from her home for the delivery.
In all facets of your life, there is always someone who doesn’t have as many choices as you do. And even if you are the lucky, privileged, educated, modern woman who has multiple options when it comes to schools, healthcare or even neighbourhoods in which to settle your family, there are still places where women do not have that many choices.
You have little say about unequal pay at the work place. No matter how many choices you make, you don’t get to say whether or not you get adequate, paid maternity leave. Even political representation as a woman is an issue out of your hands.
So, make a decision every time you can. If you long for a vibrant career or a healthy functioning relationship, then stop saying that you are leaving things to fate to see what will happen.
When faced with the choice of staying home and putting yourself out there, stop saying, “Whatever”. Let your choices not be one of those things that you delegate.
Whether it’s the small things like what coffee to order at the café or the big things like whether or not you want to have children and at which point in your life, let it be your choice.
Remember, even refusing to make a choice is making a choice. It’s making the choice to give up control of your life. Making a choice is taking charge. It’s allowing yourself to make your own mistakes which you can learn from. Create your life experiences one choice at a time.