This is the right time to state your truth

If there is anything this Covid-19 pandemic has brought home for me, it is the reality of how fleeting time is. Just six months ago, I was set to have the year of my life and now, every day looks the same.

This got me to re-examine my relationships, thinking about the ones I waste too much time on and the ones I haven’t invested in enough.

Covid-19 has me thinking about a friend who has been in a relationship with this man for months on end when we all know it is headed nowhere. ‘He’ll get the hint, I don’t know, he’ll meet a woman who actually wants him,’ she says when you ask.

I have agreed with her in the past because truth is, not all relationships should last forever. Some relationships should end. Now that I have seen how fast time can slip through our fingers, I think that if this is the case with your relationship, you should let your partner know.

Too many women are running around with men they would never even dream of marrying because of what the men bring to the table –power, fame and sexual experience. Oh, and of course money, they call it securing the bag. Now, there is nothing wrong with wanting to ‘secure the bag’ but time is the most valuable resource in anyone’s life. Don’t waste it. Don’t promise or pretend to offer something that you can’t or don’t want to.

If a relationship has run its course and its time for you to head out of the door, do it. If the emotions have fizzled out, do not just sit there and hope that he will figure it out on his own, or that it will fizzle out and both of you will escape unscathed.

Don’t sit too long on the emotional fence. Don’t make a man your backup plan. You know, being in a relationship with someone else or not being ready for a relationship at all but stringing him for just in case? It’s not cool. Don’t drop hints, don’t insinuate things. Tell him in no uncertain words what you want from him and mirror it with your actions.

If you’ve just come out of a relationship and in no shape to get into another serious one, fess up. Stop texting him just to string him along. Whether it is marriage or random play, there is always someone out there who is looking for the same thing as you.

He may not always hear you. He may hear, ‘I just need a little break’ when you try to make a clean break from him. He may hear, ‘Try harder’ when you try to be just friends with him. Still, say your truth. Tell the serious truths. ‘I don’t want to get married again.’ ‘I don’t want to have children.’ ‘I’m not looking for anything serious.’ ‘I just got out of a serious relationship and I’m on the rebound.’ ‘I’m not looking for an emotional connection.’ Or ‘I’m in love with someone else.’

Don’t be a time bandit. Say your truth.