JUST BRENDA: She loves me… like a brother

Hi Brenda,

I don’t know how to flirt with girls. I have many girls who are friends but not really a girlfriend. One of them is a single mum and sometimes I take her son out to play or for snacks.

So I am a father figure to him but that’s not really what I want. I love his mother and would like more from the relationship but it’s got to a point where I even babysit for her as she goes on dates.

She keeps telling people we are like brothers and sisters. I asked her out once and she said she sees me like her brother.

How do I get out of the brother zone with her? I still treasure her as a friend so I don’t want to lose that.

Hi,

That is complicated. If she has friend zoned you, it is pretty hard to get out of that particular friend zone. I would say cut your losses and look for someone else to be in an intimate relationship with. It can sometimes be hard for girls to shift you from that particular zone into another one, especially if you have already expressed your feelings.

I would also suggest that you change your approach. Stop trying to be friends with everyone, as you have said, you already have many friends.

Go in with the intention of expressing your interest, and be upfront with it early as opposed to when she's sending you to do her laundry or take care of her kid!

Approach friends as friends and love interests as love interests. Kapisce?