I am 35 years old and a mother of one. My husband is 42 years old. Within three months of meeting, we started dating and soon started cohabiting. I fell for him due to his mature approach to things. My only misgiving was that he did not have a steady income, he told me that he had been relieved of his job at the church, where he served, and had been living on handouts from friends.
We ended up opening a joint account where my salary is credited. A few months ago, we got a baby girl. Basically, we survive on my salary. I am overwhelmed and unable to respect a man that does not offer financial support. To make matters worse, he has taken to drinking alcohol. Now we even have verbal fights. I am contemplating moving out and starting all over again, though deep down I still want to make things work.
A common factor about today’s relationships is the hurried nature in which things unfold. That aside, I am impressed by your husband’s desire to be honest with you about losing his job, though you don’t say why he lost it.
What also concerns me is the way the two of you are handling the challenges you face. Initially, you had a relationship that encouraged honest communication.
Going back there would help you find a solution to the problems facing you and restore your relationship. The most urgent question is how your husband can start earning a living.
You must, however, ask yourself whether this is a normal life your man has curved out for himself — a life of living off other people’s hard work.
He should be willing to do whatever it takes to supplement your income, otherwise you have on your hands a big problem.
Money, or lack of it, has the power to disrupt the peace and harmony in marriage, it is even a leading cause of divorce.
Your frustration comes from the fact that your financial expectations and goals are not being met, and since your husband is not a part of this dream, you feel overwhelmed and stressed.
Your marriage will continue being unhappy unless you resolve this matter once and for all.
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