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My wife is cold and distant, and she wants me to get the sack

Monday February 10 2020


To mend your marriage, interrogate your actions, associations and how you treat her. PHOTO | FILE | NATION MEDIA GROUP 

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Hi Pastor Kitoto,

I am 42 years old and have been married for six years. My problem is that whenever I return home from work in the evening, my wife totally ignores me, something that can go on for days. My only joy is our child. If we are lucky and someone visits, she will laugh and talk as though our relationship is great. As soon as the visitor leaves, things go back to what they were. Once, she called my place of work and asked my boss to sack me. She is a disturbed housewife, who is not at peace with me or herself. I once asked her what she would gain if I lost my job, only for her to tell me that she would be “very happy”. What is happening here?


When did the turbulence in your relationship start? If this has been the picture since the beginning of your marriage, I would be concerned why the two of you have not sought answers to the cause of the troubles.

If this discord started later in the marriage, then it is important to identify when the rain started to beat you. Could your wife be unhappy about something that isn’t going right in your marriage?

Is she going through a difficult phase and doesn’t feel your support? I also feel that there is something tied to your job that disturbs her.


It is strange for a wife to seek her husband’s sacking in a season when jobs are hard to find.

For her to have gained courage to approach your boss for this request is not only surprising, but leads one to ask whether she is on a revenge mission, though only you would know why she would seek revenge.

Perhaps losing the job would be a way of ‘taming’ you. You need to get to the root of the problem, otherwise your unhappiness will get deeper.

Interrogate your actions, associations and how you treat her.

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