Negative self-talk can harm your performance

Last week we mentioned that it was important to have a positive attitude to life. Besides this, it is important that you use words to reaffirm your vision. Remember that words have creative power-they create our reality.

Words are the vehicle through which ideas are transmitted. There are many ways in which we are affected by words.

First, we are affected when we engage in self-talk. This is the conversation we have within ourselves. Whether or not we know it, self-talk affects our performance. Whenever you make a negative or positive confession about yourself, the world conspires to make it come to pass.

Self-talk leads to self-fulfilling prophecy. For instance, suppose you say to yourself just before appearing on stage, “I know I will embarrass myself”. When you get there, you realise that you left your nicely prepared notes and you panic, and the prophecy comes to pass. What if you started by thinking to yourself, “I will make a great presentation today” and then realize that you have left your notes. Your subconscious will kick in and you will make one of the most beautiful impromptu speeches ever.

We are also affected by the words others use on us. Some workers decided to tell one of their colleagues that she looked sick. The first one commented that she looked tired. After a while she met the second one who asked her if she was unwell. As this continued, she became convinced that she was sick and even started feeling unwell.

King Solomon wrote that the power of life and death lay in the power of the tongue. There is a story of a rich man whose dear wife was weak and sad. None of the physicians could pinpoint the problem. As the man went far and wide in search of a solution, he encountered a man whose wife was very happy. He asked the poor man what the secret was.

The poor man simply replied, “Mpe nyama ya ulimi”, which means, give her the meat of the tongue. The man quickly went to the butchery and bought all the tongue there was and had his wife eat it. When she did not improve, he went back to the man who had advised him.

The wise man smiled and said, “Nyama ya ulimi ni maneno matamu”, meaning that the real meat of the tongue is sweet words.

People have been damaged by negative words coming from others. It is not what other people tell you but what you allow yourself to accept as your truth that determines who you become.

What kind of words do you allow to become your truth? Did you know that Thomas Edison was told by his teachers that he was too dull to learn anything? He did not make that his truth.

Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor for lack of imagination and good ideas. He believed in himself and gave the world Disneyland. Although Einstein’s mother was that her son was a dull child, Einstein gave the world the theory of relativity.

We are also affected by words that are spoken around us. To succeed, you also need to avoid complainers, flatterers, grumblers and people who bad-mouth others because they use negative words. Learn also to focus on the end-result, not the current problem. Speak of the solution, not the problem, of the destination, not the journey.

Finally, change your language to reflect the successful person you are becoming. Speak to yourself words of affirmation even when the circumstances speak otherwise. Align your words with the outcome you want and speak victory over your circumstances, however bad they may seem. Use words to birth your success.

Most inventions are talked about long before they are made. Talk of your success long before it happens! Create your world!

Dr Kithinji is a trainer and management consultant at the Kenya School of Government, Nairobi