Pregnant and alone?  Not anymore

As other teenage girls across the country mull over what  careers to study for after high school, tens of their peers in Kariobangi, Huruma and Korogocho slums are agonising over whether to keep their pregnancies or terminate them. PHOTO| FILE

What you need to know:

  • For such girls, the Pro-life Project is godsend. This non-profitable initiative offers these youngsters the assistance and counselling support they urgently need.
  • The project, initiated by the Catholic parish of Kariobangi, also offers them free training in areas they are talented in, so that after delivery, they will have a stable source of income to support themselves and their child.
  • According to the project’s Director, Fr. Filipe Resende, who took over the project in 2014, by the time the girls reach out to them, they have no self-esteem, self-respect or confidence left.

As other teenage girls across the country mull over what  careers to study for after high school, tens of their peers in Kariobangi, Huruma and Korogocho slums are agonising over whether to keep their pregnancies or terminate them.

Majority of these youngsters are engaging in coerced sex or forced into adult relationships they are not ready for due to the poverty that surrounds them.

When they get pregnant, which is almost always the end result, most of them are pressured by their parents, friends or boyfriends to get an abortion. Some are kicked out of their homes by their parents, and with nowhere to go, find themselves in the streets, pregnant and alone, making an already dire situation worse.

For such girls, the Pro-life Project is godsend. This non-profitable initiative offers these youngsters the assistance and counselling support they urgently need.

The project, initiated by the Catholic parish of Kariobangi, also offers them free training in areas they are talented in, so that after delivery, they will have a stable source of income to support themselves and their child. According to the project’s Director, Fr. Filipe Resende, who took over the project in 2014, by the time the girls reach out to them, they have no self-esteem, self-respect or confidence left.

 “Initially, when we first started, approximately 90 girls would come to us for help every year. With time, due to our school to school awareness programme, the crisis pregnancy cases began to come down, now, we assist about 50 pregnant teenage girls annually,” explains Fr. Resende.

Besides offering them counselling and teaching them skills with which they can earn a living, the project also intervenes to try and reconcile the girls with their families, who are also offered counselling and encouraged to support the girls.

 “We also ensure that they get appropriate medical care during the pregnancy. To accomplish this, we have partnered with a couple of local hospitals that offer free medical services as well as pre and post-delivery follow-ups for these girl,” he adds.

 Ann Walucho’s greatest joy is when she comes across a young woman that she counselled into coming to terms with her pregnancy walking hand-in-hand with her child.

HAPPY STORIES

Ann, a pro-life project manager and counsellor, says,

“Such happy stories are what motivate me to get up every morning; they tell me that what we do here is not in vain. For these young mothers, having a rock solid support system is essential, otherwise they would give in to despair and make decisions that are bound to make their situations worse.”

Not all stories have happy endings though.

Project social worker, Julius Muasya, who, besides Fr. Resende, is the only man actively involved in this project, says that not all girls come round to embracing their situation.

 “In cases where we do not manage to convince the girls to accept their children after delivery, or where the girls’ parents disown them and throw them out, we link them to homes such as Mother Teresa Children’s Home in Huruma. Here, they are offered shelter, food and protection, until they are in a position to take care of themselves. Once in a while, we also receive calls from members of the community about new born babies dumped in dumpsites. In such instances, we collaborate with relevant authorities to rescue these children and get them admitted to various homes.”

He adds,

“Pregnancy is not a mortal sin; parents need to acknowledge this and extend an olive branch to their daughters and support them – rejection is what leads to desperate acts such as suicide.”

Faith Mwende, 19, who comes from Emali, in Machakos County, is one the beneficiaries of the Pro-life project. Mwende, who gave birth a month to her Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education exams, is now a hairdresser, and is able to comfortably take care of herself and her child.

“When I realised I was pregnant, I told my boyfriend. He accepted the pregnancy but could not support me financially because he could not even fend for himself. I didn’t have the courage to tell my parents I was pregnant, but they eventually found out when they noticed my growing belly,” she recounts.

CONTEMPLATED ABORTION

Her parents were so angry and disappointed with her, she contemplated abortion. When she told them that her boyfriend had accepted the baby she was carrying, they calmed down enough to agree to support her until she finished her exams.

“My parents are not well-off, and it was difficult for them to raise the money required for my medical check-ups sometimes. Fortunately, a friend introduced me to the Pro-life project manager and counsellor, Ann Walucho, who, after listening to my story, placed me in the programme. Besides regular counselling, all my medical expenses before and after delivery were taken care of,” she says.

Holy Trinity Catholic Church Parish priest, Fr. Filipe Resende, speaks to some of the girls his church, with the help of the community and donors, helps. PHOTO| FRANCIS NDERITU

After her exams, the project, had her admitted to a hairdressing college. All the while, they would follow up on her and her baby’s progress.

“I am not only a hairdresser, I also own my own cosmetics shop. My advice to young girls is everything has got its own time. Take your studies seriously and avoid unprotected sex. Enjoy the freedom that comes with teenage, but live responsibly too,” she says.

Mary Atieno, 19, comes from Alego Usonga in Siaya County. She is a mother of a year-old boy.

“When I broke the news of my pregnancy to my boyfriend, then a college student, he suggested abortion right away and even sent me money and directions to a clinic where I could have the procedure done,” she says, and adds,

“I was sacred to go ahead with it, and opened up to one of my friends who discouraged abortion, warning me that I could die in the process.”

When her boyfriend found out that she had decided to keep the baby, he broke up with her, and told her that he never wanted to see her again. Her parents were angry too, and disappointed. One of her aunts also suggested an abortion. As she pondered what to do, a friend inquired and found out about the Pro-life project.

“I only went because I had run out of options, I didn’t expect to get any real help, but after speaking to the team, it was as if I had been reborn. Finally, I felt acceptance after rejection from every corner. After delivery, I kept attending the counseling sessions, and later got training in handcraft work like making leather shoes and mats.”

Atieno and her family eventually reunited, and they have since accepted her baby after officials from the project paid them a visit.

“My ex boyfriend has also accepted my son and given him his last name. He also occasionally buys him clothes and shoes, but our relationship is over. If only I could turn back time, I would not repeat the same mistakes,” says Atieno.

Silvia Ongachi, 17, from Emukhaya, in Kakamega County, is eight months pregnant. She says she would like to be an architect and is hopeful that she will achieve her dreams.

“I got pregnant in April this year. I had no idea what to do when I found out. The first person I broke the news to was my boyfriend, who immediately suggested abortion. I just couldn’t do it though. He denied he was responsible for the pregnancy and left me.”

Silvia says that she and her boyfriend live in the same neighbourhood, but nowadays, he pretends that he does not know her when they bump into each other.

“Though my parents did not kick me out when they learnt I was pregnant, I could tell that I had disappointed them a lot. This made me feel lonely and unwanted until I was introduced to Pro-Life by one of my friends, who’s also a beneficiary of the project.”

 Silvia is now learning how to make leather shoes and mats using Maasai fabric, an activity that keeps her engaged and which earns her an income.

Fr. Resende observes that were it not for the selfless help of health institutions around the neighbourhood, as well as the community, the project would not have been as beneficial to the girls.

 “It is thanks to the partnerships we have with local private health institutions that we are able to provide the pre and post-delivery care the girls need. Most of the money we require to pay the staff, as well as the running costs of the project come from the collections during Sunday mass - I call it the poor helping the poorest! If you are able to help us to continue to make the lives of these girls better, you are welcome to support us.”