JUST BRENDA: Does she really want me to sleep with someone else? - Daily Nation
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JUST BRENDA: Does she really want me to sleep with someone else?

Tuesday January 30 2018

When the semester is in session, she visits me and we have fun but once she goes home, all this changes because her parents are very strict so she can't go out.

When the semester is in session, she visits me and we have fun but once she goes home, all this changes because her parents are very strict so she can't go out. PHOTO | FILE | NATION MEDIA GROUP 

By JUST BRENDA
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Hi Brenda,

I am in a relationship with a girl I met in college and it has now been slightly over a year since we started dating. I have just graduated but she is continuing with her studies. When the semester is in session, she visits me and we have fun but once she goes home, all this changes because her parents are very strict so she can't go out. We usually meet but very briefly. We happen to come from the same neighbourhood but it's three months since we last met. Due to lack of time for ourselves, she advised me to get another girl to have sex with. It's meant to relieve my sexual needs or so she claims. She also claims it’s because of the love as she wants to sleep with me but can’t. Does she really mean it?

 

That's an interesting question. I am not sure whether your girlfriend is saying this because she means to say it, or she thinks she does.

However, let's go with the hope that you have good taste and you have picked the kind of lady who knows her mind. Let's believe women – for a change! And ask the real question here.

What is the actual problem? Not having time for yourselves can be a real struggle for a couple.

I assume that you mean time for yourselves intimately as well as quality time spent together, talking and dating.

How can we conquer this problem? Perhaps meet with her in her parents' house so that they can at least see that you're willing to play by her rules.

Assuming you miss your girlfriend, which you clearly do, this will assuage the feelings of loss a little.

Then, as you gradually win their trust, you can take your relationship to the next level. Do you actually want to have sex with someone else? If not, then we can go with this plan.

If so, and she has given you permission...well, it might not be the best idea to actually test that out. Try and keep a hold of your hormones until you reach a breakthrough.

 

Do you have a problem to share with Brenda? E-mail: [email protected]