JUST BRENDA: My brother is addicted to betting

Hi Brenda,

My younger brother is addicted to betting. I say this because he even goes to the extent of lying so that he can get betting money from us. How would you advice me to handle it?

Stop giving your brother money, and make sure it is clear to him that you are stopping. Find him a job to keep his hands a bit busier than they are now.

Tell everyone else not to give him money, and do not bail him out if he gets himself into a precarious loan situation.

If he isn't losing a lot of money, then it's all well and good – you can't control what an adult man is doing with his own cash. But when it crosses the line into lying, then you must also draw a new line.

If he asks for money for fees or transport, send the money directly to a paybill where it is supposed to go, as opposed to sending him the money directly. You must limit his interactions with your cash.

If he is choosing to ruin his life, he must do so alone.

When he is ready for help, then you can try and help him break his habit. Until then, you are not his mother, and Nairobi is a cold, cold city to be in. He will learn that eventually.

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