Hi! My name is Simon and I’m dating a girl my age who is an employed teacher. We've dated for a year now and have been committed to each other.
We’re planning to get married next year. I am unemployed currently but I run a number of small businesses.
Like any other couples, we’ve had conflict and have sorted them before but this latest one has really stressed me.
During the holidays, she comes to Kenyatta University for school-based studies and when she requested for financial assistance for her upkeep, I could not grant her wish as I was super broke.
That’s when hell broke loose. She accused me of neglecting her and said she wanted to break up with me. She has refused to compromise on the matter and does not return any of my messages. What should I do?
It sounds like your relationship is based on a false belief that you have money. Which you don't and your girlfriend clearly knows that as well. You not being able to give her money is NOT a reason for a breakup.
She came into this world alone, and she will leave it thusly. You are not her father. You had not included her in your budget, not discussed aforementioned infantile expectations to said budget.
If she expects you, the unemployed partner, to give her, the employed partner, an allowance, then she is living in a dream world. She knew she was coming for this trip.
Why didn't she plan ahead? And why must every refusal be met with a threat of a break up?
That's emotionally abusive, much like the silent treatment.
If she is trying to find a way to make sure you will be financially solvent enough for a forthcoming wedding, there are surely other ways to do it aside from making you pay for something you had nothing to do with.
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