DAD STORIES: I'm a hands-on father and I love it

James Ndegwa's journey as a father has been a rich learning experience.

A proud father of three girls -- Giana (8), Gillian (2), and Gabriel (1) -- he encourages all parents to be present in their children's lives.

When he married, his wife already had a daughter from a previous relationship. This gave him an early opportunity to be a father as he settled into the marriage.

Thankfully, his father had taught him a lot on good parenting over the years, the 36-year-old dad muses.

HANDS-ON PARENTING

James faced his greatest challenge in fatherhood three years ago while pursuing his postgraduate studies. He had inadequate time to bond with his children

James hardly saw them on weekdays, as he worked during the day and went to class in the evenings. He often got home past his children’s bedtime.

“Whenever I got home early, I shrugged off my weariness to bond with the children. My daughter Giana is in lower primary school and sometimes I assist her with her homework. This was usually over a chat [and we talked about] how her day was, how she was fairing at school...If you do not spend quality time with your children, it becomes difficult to know or understand them,” explains James.

Fathers should play an active role in guiding their children and make a deliberate effort to connect with them at an emotional level, which creates a strong relationship. Such a relationship has a great potential to influence what the children will grow up to be, James shares.

“Raising children is no longer women’s work; men too have a role to play. It is important that a man works and provides for his children, but his responsibility does not end there."

When a father fails to make time for his children, they may grow up believing that their father prioritises work and his life revolves around work.

TALENTS

Being involved with his children, has enabled James to nurture their skills and interests from an early age.

His daughter Giana loves fashion and is a model. Currently, she is the reigning ‘little Miss Nations Kenya’, a title she won last December.

“I was elated. Giana couldn’t help but show off her tiara and this made me really proud...I don’t favour any of my children; they are all unique in their own ways. I try to spend enough time with them individually, in addition to family outings, [so that I can] understand them better. While at it, I get to know who my children talk to, whether they are being bullied, and their likes and dislikes. One-on-one chats with each child creates a safe place and keeps the communication channels open.”

***

Follow #DadStoriesKE for more stories like these or visit this Father's Day 2018 link.

What would you like your dad to know this Father’s Day? Can you say it in 800 words? Email: [email protected]