DAD STORIES: Daddy, I'm happy you are in a better place

Many people knew my father Evans Tambasi because of his soft-spoken and gentle nature.

Usually he would stroll around the estate in the evening. And when I was a little girl, I would accompany him to most places – the bank, shops, farm and even to his work place. That is how I earned the title "Daddy’s baby".

SACRIFICE

My dad came from a very poor background, and he and his siblings used to sleep on banana leaves and cover themselves with sacks. Theirs was the perfect epitome of a life of hardship.

But despite the struggles, my dad, a bright pupil, joined one of the then prestigious high schools in the province. He was determined to make a difference in his family and he worked extremely hard and later joined the University of Nairobi to pursue a B.A. English/Literature.

After several years of working and saving, he enrolled at the London School of Journalism for a two-year course.

This was a difficult period for him as he was paying his siblings’ school fees and his own, he was working, and also taking care of my mum and us. He still ensured we were comfortable.

He was such a generous and kind person. He would prefer to lack and offer what he had to one who was in more need of it. He was a very firm but very loving father.

After many years of hard work and sacrificing in order for us to have a comfortable life, my dad’s health started deteriorating. He started complaining of severe backache, and he developed high blood pressure and peptic ulcers.

He could no longer continue to work effectively as he was always in and out of hospital. His condition worsened and after a biopsy, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Our world came crumbling down.

The chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments were costly. But things got worse when doctors discovered he had also developed colorectal cancer. We were drained emotionally and financially as a family. The times when he had to go for surgery were frightening as we did not know whether he’d make it out alive.

As days went by, there wasn’t much the doctors could do as the cancer cells has spread extensively. He was put on morphine because he was always writhing in pain such that he’d even cry in our presence.

“I’d never wish this sickness even to my worst enemy,” he’d say occasionally. I’d sing him a hymn or two, pray, then talk him to sleep. We gave him the best palliative care we could.

HIS LAST DAY

When I completed my KCSE exam in 2012, I went home and found him lying on his bed. He smiled at me, prayed, and was grateful that he had lived to see his youngest child complete her secondary school education. Education was always his priority.

The following day, his condition worsened and we rushed him to hospital. For a few hours he lost consciousness but the doctors were able to resuscitate him.

My siblings, mum and I were with him the whole night as we talked about our childhood. He was in a good mood and felt glad to be with his family.

At around 5am, we went home to freshen up then come back to the hospital. But before we left, he requested for a glass of soda. He took it and asked for more, but mum advised that I give him porridge instead.

He put his head back on the pillow as I cooled the porridge. After about 3-5 minutes, I sat on the bed and saw that he was asleep. I tried to wake him up but he never woke up.

And just like that, in less than five minutes, my daddy’s golden heart had stopped beating. He was 54.

I wanted to wake him up and tell him just how much I loved him and I appreciated his hard work, sacrifices and determination.

Inasmuch as his death was a big blow, I thanked God for taking him to a better place, with no more pain and tears.

Daddy, you were a gem and your legacy will live on. I could write a million pages about the kind and loving father I knew, but the words will still not fully express just how much we love and miss you.

I will remember all your teachings, determination and follow in your steps.

Your favourite hymn " Safe in the arms of Jesus" comforts me as I know you’re in the best place. And every time I hear the words “Safe in the arms of Jesus, safe on His gentle breast; There by His love o’ershaded, sweetly my soul shall rest” I am at rest.

Happy Father’s Day in heaven daddy.

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