JUST BRENDA: Is it okay to date a friend's brother?

My pal has a hot brother that I look at as a potential boyfriend. But she acts as if I should be behaving like a sister to him. PHOTO | FOTOSEARCH

What you need to know:

  • When I mention how hot her brother is, my friend asks me: “really?”
  • I have to pretend he is not so hot.
  • Do you have a problem to share with Just Brenda? E-mail: [email protected]

Hi Brenda,

Are friends’ brothers off the dating market? My pal has a hot brother, but she acts as if I should be behaving like a sister to him.

When I mention how hot he is, she asks me: “really?”, and I have to pretend he is not so hot.

I once asked her about dating her brother (hypothetically) and she seemed very resistant.

What do you think I should do to make her see that I look at her brother as a man and a potential boyfriend?

 

That's a tricky one. Your friend is being unfair, though that's HER brother, not yours.

In fact, I think meeting other people's families is an excellent way of meeting potential partners, like at weddings, for example – and they come with a file on them, seeing as you already know the family.

And what's the point of keeping your friends off your brother?

There are so many benefits to dating a friend’s brother! You could really be sisters, for one. Two, the bond is strengthened in that at least she knows who her brother is dating. It's like having references, to be honest.

Of course, if it goes badly, I'd have to hope that you are mature enough to not let that hamper your friendship (but your friend has already started in this vein, so, I guess we can't assume maturity).

Have a talk with your friend, on a serious note, and ask her exactly why she has a problem.

Does she worry for your friendship? Does she think he's a dog?

Try and address her insecurities, and then make a decision. I mean, maybe he thinks you're a little sister too...

***

Do you have a problem to share with Just Brenda? E-mail: [email protected]