JUST BRENDA: He likes me but is scared of commitment

There is this guy I kissed six months ago and we have been flirting ever since then. You could say it has been an on and off affair. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • But then the other day, he dropped the bomb shell that he was not ready for a relationship.
  • This came even after he had begged me once to go to his house because he was lonely.
  • Do you have a problem to share with Just Brenda? Send your questions to [email protected]

Hi Brenda,

There is this guy I kissed six months ago and we have been flirting ever since then. You could say it has been an on and off affair.

But then the other day, he dropped the bomb shell that he was not ready for a relationship. This came even after he had begged me once to go to his house because he was lonely.

He said he had been hurt one too many times and I want to believe him but how can I when my friends tell me he was doing what they call gas lighting?

 

What he is doing is not really your concern. We don't even have to label it, really. What is your concern, however, is that this guy is clearly not that into you.

Don't let him waste your time like a rat on the highway if it isn't going anywhere. He knows you want a relationship when clearly what he wants is a romp in the hay.

Which is ok, everyone is allowed a bit of a romp – but he should have been clear about that from the beginning and left you alone instead of now bringing up his past hurt to show as an excuse for why he doesn't want to open up.

His past is a ‘him’ problem, not a ‘you’ problem.

The fact that it only comes up, no pun intended, when he's trying to get you to come over for a booty call, is an even bigger problem.

Flee from this deceitful man who doesn't have the bandwidth to explore his own emotions, nor state what he's sending flirty texts for. Boy, bye.

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Do you have a problem to share with Just Brenda? Send your questions to [email protected]