JUST BRENDA: How do I handle my husband's childish behaviour?

Hi Brenda,

My husband has changed and is behaving like a possessed man. It’s like he thinks I have so much money. He chose an expensive rental house, though I preferred a cheaper one. He pays rent and I’m in charge of household shopping. When I go shopping myself, I shop prudently and spend within a budget I have set, and we never lack. But he insists on accompanying me most times and it’s like he wants me to spend almost the same amount on shopping as he does on rent, so he puts in unnecessary items or necessary items but of more expensive brands. It has reached a point I sometimes sneak out when doing monthly shopping, or do it on my way from work. How do I handle this?

Hi,

Your husband is your husband, and not your child – in this case, anyway. You know how they tend to tell women your husband is your first child?

Rid yourself of this mentality when you go shopping, and he is acting like a child – just don't treat him as such.

What you need to do when he insists in the house on coming for shopping is tell him, ok, we can go together, because I love spending time with you, but please let me do the shopping instead of insisting on the things you want.

If he asks why, tell him it is because he always goes over the budget.

If he sulks and stays home, you're in the clear. If he persists, then when he puts things in the shopping basket or trolley, take them out immediately. Will he cause a fuss in the middle of the supermarket? If he does, walk away.

If he doesn't, problem solved. If the fuss is too big, explain to him that you are embarrassed and put down the shopping trolley and leave.

Will you have a fight at home? Probably. Will you be able to re-articulate your grievances until he's potty-trained? Yes.

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