JUST BRENDA: I am afraid our second child may be a burden

Hi Brenda, I have been in a relationship with a certain lady for the past three months. The lady has a child from a previous relationship- a baby boy who is almost two years old.

About two weeks ago, we met up with the lady and had sex, for the first time since we started dating. She recently informed me that she is now pregnant again and is willing to keep the baby. She is quite young, won't keeping the baby add to her burden of raising her other child? Also, my parents are not aware that I was seeing her, how do I explain the pregnancy? I want to do what is best for both of us, please advise.

Hi,

This is a difficult situation to be in, but it all comes down to you and how you feel, and what you must do now. Ultimately, this lady did not create the baby alone, and you're in it now – as an adult it is your responsibility to take care of what you have created, the both of you, as a blessing, and not a burden (as you have said she wants to keep the baby). Keep that in mind as you continue, and be mindful of that in your speech – she is probably scared and nervous and wondering how you will take this entire situation. The thing is, if you do adult things, you must be prepared for adult consequences.

Part of these consequences look like telling your parents that you did adult things and now you have a baby to raise into adulthood. Most parents are angry at the beginning, depending on your age, but eventually turn into doting grandparents once they see the cutie in their hands. In short – you love her, so do the right thing.

***

Do you have a problem to share with Brenda? Please email: [email protected]