JUST BRENDA: I don't want my pregnant girlfriend to move in

Tuesday February 05 2019

My pregnant girlfriend wants to move in with me but I feel she will invade my space. PHOTO | FOTOSEARCH


Hello Brenda,

I have been a keen follower and ardent reader of your articles. I find your articles refreshing, educative and informative. I need your advice on a burning issue that has been stress me.

I am a third-year student on attachment, and still depending on my parents.

Recently, my girlfriend told me she is pregnant with my child. I received the news with mixed reactions. I love her so much I accepted to support her through the pregnancy.

She is also a university student and is worried about how she will break the news to her parents. She feels she has let them down because she was brought up in a strong Christian family; and as a first child she is supposed to be a mentor to her siblings.

I have always encouraged her to keep the pregnancy rather than have an abortion.


She has one more semester to complete her studies; the semester ends in April and then she proceeds for an attachment. I will always support her until she gives birth.

My problem is that my girlfriend now wants to live with me. She is already three months pregnant and says she can't stay in her hostel as she needs privacy and personal space.

I found this uncomfortable since she will invade my space and I need time alone most of the time. Kindly advise me.



That's an interesting combination of problems, but luckily, not particularly new or beyond help.

It's great that you want to help your girlfriend during her pregnancy and support her as she breaks the news to her parents.

It isn't easy news to break, but usually, because we're African and tend to value children more than most things, I'm sure they'll get over it as soon as they see their precious grandchild.

Now the thing is, support runs the gamut between standing by her and allowing her to live with you. You are parents now. Any assumptions you had about personal space and freedom are limited, in the best way possible.

If you say you're going to support her, then actually support her, okay? That means in whatever capacity she needs you to.

When it comes to the needs of your child, and the health and psychological well-being of the mother, I'm afraid you can't really pick and choose when you want to be uncomfortable.


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