JUST BRENDA: I want to stay faithful, but I miss my carefree life

Thursday October 25 2018

I still want to go out and have some fun but this scares me as I’m really tempted to cheat. PHOTO | FILE | NATION MEDIA GROUP


Hi Brenda,

I used to cheat a lot; and this went on for years. I was a playboy of sorts and my friends called me a serial dater as my relationships only lasted a few weeks or months.

But last year, I met a girl I really like – a lot. I think I’m in love. And for the first time, I have dated one girl for a year and I have been faithful to her.

My problem is, sometimes I still want to go out and have some fun but this scares me as I’m really tempted to cheat. I feel I could fall into temptation and be wayward again.

And sometimes I miss the carefree life of good nights with no strings attached. But I don’t want to hurt my girlfriend because I think she could even be the one. Help.




Everyone falls in love sometime, as the song goes. I'm glad you've found this girl and you're trying to stay as faithful as you can.

Going out is ok, but you know your weakness. Maybe you should go out with someone who is as invested in your relationship as you are – your girlfriend. You can have fun going out together.

Or, find an accountability partner who you can count on to check on you when you go to the club, if going with The One isn't an option. At the end of the day, temptation will always be there, whether you go out or not. And you won't always have someone to check you.

You need to work out and build that muscle of self-control before you end up losing everything you're working so hard for now. Carefree nights with no strings attached aren't as sustainable as Hollywood would like us to think.


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