JUST BRENDA: How can I get over my heartbreak?

Dear Brenda,

I had my heart broken last year in spectacular fashion after a three-year relationship.

I now find myself almost incapable of trusting men and their ilk.

Anything they say, I know I can't believe, because I know from past experience, I'll get hurt anyway.

I don't mind being single forever, by the way, it is less of a headache, but I know at some point I will desire some form of companionship.

What can I do to get over this?

Dear Disillusioned Doreen,

So here's the thing about love that really really sucks - more often than not, regardless of how often you get your heart broken, you'll still want to get back in the game.

We're human. We miss other humans. It's how we are conditioned. And so, your heart will eventually want something - or rather, someone.

I'm sorry about your heartbreak, but eventually, your heart will give you the signal to move on - as soon as you start feeling those inklings of desire, it's a good idea to act on them. Just a little bit, to see where it goes.

Start from simple things like flirting and let things happen. And yes - being single is a valid and happy choice - but you sound like you know yourself enough to know that this isn't what you want to do for a long term. And that's ok too.

I hate to sound like a terrible feminist here, but not all men will break your heart. Your next man (or woman!) is not your last one.

All humans are disappointing to a degree, even you as the heartbreaker. The work is in finding the person whose disappointments you can stand, and work through, together.