JUST BRENDA: My girlfriend is untidy

I have tried to get my girlfriend to keep a tidy and clean house but she just doesn’t. I’m wondering how to tell her to do so.

Whose house is being kept tidy, is it yours or hers? Are you living together? Because there are different answers for each of these scenarios.

If you are trying to get her to keep your house clean but she doesn't live with you, that isn't her responsibility. She isn't your cleaning lady.

If you want her to keep her place clean, that is separate from yours, that isn't really your business. If she was unhappy with it, then she would change it to suit her, not you.

And obviously you found her living like this already, so if it didn't bother you then, perhaps ask yourself why it bothers you now.

RESPECTING COMMON SPACES

And if you are living together, then maybe you need to have a talk about respecting common spaces. Living with someone takes a certain degree of compromise and understanding.

When you're living alone you can pretty much do what you want – not so when you've entered a living arrangement with someone else.

Don't expect her to get extremely clean because of you, but a conversation on compromise might help you meet each other halfway.

Tell her that there are certain things you expect, just as she should expect certain things from you, and you should figure out how you will live together now that there are two people making decisions in the home.

Just be sure you're ready to hear her side of the story and her expectations as well.

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