JUST BRENDA: Why is my online lover so insecure?

Hi Brenda,

Please receive my heartfelt appreciation for your good work in this great column.

I’m 29 years old, a graduate and jobless. Three months ago I began interacting with a woman on Facebook and after a while our conversations moved to WhatsApp.

She is older than me by more than 10 years. And she once told me that she left her husband informally about three years ago.

I told her I would like us to build a life together and she accepted my request. But we live far from each other.

I have noticed that she seems insecure about men and she even deletes our chat messages. Whenever I call, her phone is somehow always busy mode. But when she feels like it, she makes both audio and video calls.

She also seems quite tech savvy. She always seems to know what I write on social media but she is not on the list of people who can view my status.

What could she be hiding from me? What can I do to understand her more?

Hi,

Thanks so much for reading!

In short, your lady friend is dodgy. Though she is insecure about men, she is also hiding something from you.

And I definitely think it is a someone – because unless there is someone else in the picture, guilty people don't often delete the messages they receive from someone they actually like, right?

I don't think she's being completely honest about her having left her husband, or perhaps she has another lover who she is hiding you from.

And what's that weird Facebook behaviour? This woman doesn't want a life with you; she wants an internet romance during which she can use you for her ego and move on to the next.

My advice? Flee.

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