JUST BRENDA: My boyfriend's obsessive behaviour is overwhelming

My boyfriend is overwhelming. Many times, he demands to know where I am, who I’m with, what time I’ll leave somewhere, what time I’ll get home.

At first, I thought he was caring. But it has become too much, to the point that when I get home later than I expected to, he gets angry and holds it against me. He starts guilt-tripping me.

He has also demanded that I ask permission to go anywhere, even meeting with my girlfriends! Even if it is during the day.

He says he is just protective over his ‘property’ (I hate being called that), but I find him obsessed, controlling and insecure.

Am I being unreasonable? Note, we do not even live together.

You're not being unreasonable. Your boyfriend is unstable and a control freak, and using tactics used by cult leaders to isolate you from your friends completely.

If you find him overwhelming, you should leave. I find him overwhelming, I even want to leave for you.

He is not anyone who can lay any sort of claim to you or your activities, and even then, that number of people is limited to your parents and siblings who you depend on only.

It's ridiculous that in 2018 someone is still referring to another adult as property.

Be careful as you leave, though – things could get ugly and you may need to start using a buddy system for a few months.

If he feels the need to protect his property, you also need to protect yourself – the actual and only owner of your body. Such nonsense!

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