Brenda, my boyfriend’s debt issues are worrying me. I did not know it was a problem until one of the people he owes money called me to ask my boyfriend to pay him.
We have been dating for two years but I have never seen the signs. I asked his sister when that call came and she told me that he owes a lot of family members cash as well.
On the surface everything is okay but I am scared that this could be a ticking time bomb. Or am just being paranoid?
Two years? You're in deep, sis. And no, you're not being paranoid. I wish people would tell people these things earlier before they got into the relationships and entangled already, but that's a story for another day.
If we're trying to figure out what to do, you need to have a candid conversation with him about his debt. Just to be clear, it is his debt, not yours.
You are not obligated to help him pay for it unless you want to, or impoverish yourself to go out of your way to fix his situation.
You guys aren't married. Keep that in mind. Help him figure out a way to pay his debts – maybe he hasn't realised he has a problem, or thinks that there's no way out.
Maybe as your own non-monetary contribution, you could pay for a date every so often, or have much cheaper dates like walking in the park and going over to ease his financial load.
I just don't want to see you emptying your bank account. Don't be a statistic, sis.
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