JUST BRENDA: My fiancé is addicted to porn - Daily Nation

JUST BRENDA: My fiancé is addicted to porn. Help!

Thursday December 27 2018

My fiancé has been watching porn and he now wants me to do weird and uncomfortable things in bed.

My fiancé has been watching porn and he now wants me to do weird and uncomfortable things in bed. PHOTO | FILE | NATION MEDIA GROUP 

By JUST BRENDA
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Hi Brenda,

A few months ago, I busted my fiancé masturbating while watching pornographic films.

He confessed that he watches them often, but denies that he is addicted. But I have seen signs and I am worried. I know he is addicted and we fight whenever I say we should get help.

Now he wants me to do weird and uncomfortable things in bed, and I refuse. I don’t mind kinky, but some things are a no-no.

Before I caught him, he was really civil. We live together already and our wedding is approaching, but I am worried about his well-being and also what will happen when I don’t indulge him when we are married. How do I get him help before things become bad?

 

Hi,

So, first of all, don't suppress your gut instinct. If you feel like he is addicted and on top of that you have noticed a behavioural change in him, you're probably not far off from the truth.

Don't ignore your intuition, particularly concerning a man whom you are supposed to marry.

At this point, it would be prudent to get yourselves a couples’ therapist, and perhaps a sex therapist as well, because if he is not opening up to you—the woman who he claims to be in love enough with to marry—then this has crossed into someone who needs more than just romantic intervention; he needs a professional one.

You're supposed to weather the rest of your lives together, and this might just be one of your bigger storms. If you don't trust him now, you won't trust him later because he won't change.

****

Do you have a problem to share with Brenda? Please email: [email protected]

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