JUST BRENDA: My girlfriend had an affair with a married man and now she is pregnant

Hi Brenda,

I have been dating this girl for two years now. I am a single father and because I didn’t want to make the same mistake like I did with my ex-girlfriend, we decided not to be abstain from sex until marriage. Now, I have found out that she is pregnant with a married man’s child. Of course I am hurt but I still love her and want to marry her because at the end of the day, if she was ready to accept my child, I should be ready to accept hers. Please tell me if I am being plain stupid and if I am, what should I do? Please advise, I am 33 and I can’t afford to mess up.

While I admire your intention to forgive and move on with the relationship, I must also point out that the issue isn’t whether or not you should accept this child. That is just a foot note. The issue is that this woman betrayed you and this child that she is carrying is just evidence of that.

This woman, who you love so much, is evidently playing games with you, given your side of the story If I were you, I would run and find someone more serious. From the experience you have shared, it would be fitting to conclude that she has been stringing you along as she has sexual relationships with other people. By having unprotected sex with another man, a married one to boot, she put you at risk of sexually transmitted infections so you should not forget that even as you endeavor to let bygones be bygones.

Whether you choose to forgive her or not is your decision to make but the truth is that cheating is an anomaly in a relationship and you should not feel obligated to accept her just because she accepted your child.

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