JUST BRENDA: My good looks are ruining my love life

Hi Brenda,

Thanks for the work you put in to help us. I am a handsome guy with a stable job but I can’t seem to have a stable girlfriend even though I am looking to settle down.

I am in my mid-thirties and I think my problem is that I am too handsome because girls used to fall for me all the time without me making any effort but these days it is like my looks have faded and I can’t seem to get a girl to commit to me.

I know I’m getting older so my looks and body are not what they were so that is not the kind of answer I am looking for.

What I am asking is how do I get a girl to commit to me? I want to settle down.

Hi,

This is music to my ears! I love that you want to seriously settle down. Fortunately for you, there are women like you who want to settle down too.

Perhaps you may want to build up your other strengths – whereas beforehand you were relying on your looks, it is time to rely on your other skills. Looks, obviously, don't last forever, so you need to change your strategy.

Be clear about what you want from the beginning, i.e. Don't be ambiguous about whether this is for a good time or a long time.

Figure out what you want in a partner and identify this early. Then, what do you enjoy doing?

For example, if you like reading, there are plenty of book clubs and literature events in the city where you can meet people who share common interests. Your face cannot be the common interest – there has to be more.

You should be a person of substance, in addition to the pretty face. Work on yourself, and it will show, and the person you should be with will become clearer – and hopefully, commit to you as well.

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Do you have a problem to share with Brenda? Please email: [email protected]