JUST BRENDA: My husband doesn’t want me any more

Hi Brenda,

Thank you for helping many people work through their marriage issues. Your calling is truly noble .                 

My husband and I had lived apart from each other for three years due to the nature of his work. In those three years, I visited him more than six times. Each visit lasted no more than two months. My problem began when we started living together.  He is no longer interested in me sexually. I think I am way too young for a sexless life.

He is 45 and am 35. Please advise me. He used to have such a high libido but now there is nothing to remind me of the intimacy we once had expect the two children we have.

Hi,

Gosh that's a tricky one. Long distance relationships are never easy, particularly when intimacy is on the line. During the one or two months that you are together, is initiation the problem or time?

People sometimes take this intimacy aspect of marriage too lightly – there is a lot more at stake. Have you considered seeking the guidance of a sex counsellor?

I would suggest that, after monitoring for a bit what the problem is and where it seems to start. Is he too tired after work? Perhaps suggest a relaxing weekend.

Does he not find the things he used to stimulating? Maybe it's time to try a different position, location or wardrobe. Ask him if he has simply lost interest and if there's something you can do or you bath can do to reignite your love – that's a very important flame.

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