I got married in 2014. Two years later, I got a job far from where we lived. My husband and I agreed that I leave my child at home with him as I settle in my new job and home.
I am now a civil servant and I have been supporting my family as I come from a very humble background, and my sister, who was initially supporting my parents, lost her job and went to stay home.
I also take care of my child, including paying school fees, as my husband lost his job and depends on small businesses. He feels I should now support him too. He says my new job destroyed our relationship.
He has borrowed a lot of money from me and he now wants me to take a loan for him. I refused. He now tells everybody that I am mistreating him because he has no job yet he took care of me when I was pregnant.
I have twice found jobs for him, but he has turned them down claiming the salaries were too low. Sometimes I feel that he uses unemployment to make me feel guilty and to seek sympathy.
I also feel that it’s too early for me to start catering for his expenses. Please advise.
It is too early. It is almost always too early when someone is living off of you.
You need to talk to this entitled man and tell him that you will not be supporting someone who does not even feel like they are willing to support themselves.
He cannot keep using this pregnancy thing against you. Did you make the baby yourself? Surely.
If he is still not amenable to this suggestion, perhaps it is time to consider moving your child and your sister to where you are, so that you can take care of your sister as she takes care of your child and looks for another job.
Your husband didn't marry a bank, and you didn't give birth to a second child.
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