JUST BRENDA: My man thrives on attention from other women

He doesn’t tell them he is taken. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • If you have told him about your feelings, and he is continuing to ignore him, then yes, of course he doesn't respect you.
  • Are you going to now wait for more disrespect?
  • Do you have a problem to share with Brenda? Please email: [email protected]

Hi Brenda,

I have a handsome man but my problem is that I keep fighting women off because they throw themselves at him even in my presence!

My problem isn’t even the women. I appreciate that they also find him as handsome as I did. My problem is my man.

He doesn’t tell them he is taken, and sometimes I have to jump in and call him pet names or say I am ready to order or go home, just to let them know he is with me. In fact, what irks me is he seems to enjoy and even encourage the attention. It makes me wonder what he does when I am not around. Does he even care about my feelings? Or respect me? I am tired.

 

That sounds like an exhausting problem. At this big age, still having to deal with a man who obviously has insecurity issues and a self-esteem problem.

Not that it is a bad thing to be insecure, or need a little ego boost from people who find you attractive, but there is a way to go about it, if you know what I mean. But I am getting ahead of myself.

Obviously being in a relationship does not make you blind, or unfeeling. You will still notice handsome men, he will still notice beautiful women, and these people will also notice you. It is, however, imperative to the relationship's survival to respect the fact that you are both in a this together, otherwise what exactly is the point if you all of a sudden have to be an actor for him to acknowledge your existence?

If you have told him about your feelings, and he is continuing to ignore him, then yes, of course he doesn't respect you. Are you going to now wait for more disrespect?

Tell him to deal with his issues, and ask him what you can do to help, because he clearly can't be trusted to do something without being pushed.

Then also make it clear that he must also work on himself, such that he will be taking the initiative to do better, as your man, and as a whole.

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Do you have a problem to share with Brenda? Please email: [email protected]