JUST BRENDA: Should I tell my friend her husband is on Tinder?

Hi Brenda. I recently installed Tinder and l was surprised to find that my pal’s hubby was also there.

I asked him about it because I did not want to jump to conclusions, and he said it is just for fun.

But I know my pal does not know this…or rather I am guessing she doesn’t.

I’m wondering if I should let it be or just tell my friend so that she does not feel betrayed in future.

Well, you know how these conversations generally go.

It basically comes down to choosing the end of a friendship, or choosing to be complicit in what could be unhealthy behaviour.

Do you want her to be happy in the ignorance of bliss, or do you want her to hate you forever?

Of course there is a chance that your friend is not the type of friend who starts hating her honest friends, and will not turn on you as soon as you turn on her husband.

To be honest, I doubt it. If you do tell her (for the record – yes, it is weird to be on Tinder if you are in a monogamous relationship, even weirder if you're in a monogamous marriage. The Tinder kind of fun is not the kind of fun he should be looking for), be prepared for the outcomes.

She might take it well, or she might be pissed. She may confront him and use your name as evidence, which will of course bring a case between you and him as well, if he blames you for the end of or an argument in his relationship (even if he's the idiot on Tinder). Are you ready for that?

Or, she might not believe you and view you with suspicion from here on out – you know, how people in relationships sometimes do when they find someone and forget sense, logic, reasoning, questioning, all the fun stuff.

I think if real friendship is important to you, tell her – at the risk of losing a friend. Because it makes you uncomfortable clearly. Best case scenario, she already knows and doesn't mind? We can only hope.

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