JUST BRENDA: Why am I always the side chick?

Thursday November 30 2017

I’m 25 and single. In each of the relationships

I’m 25 and single. In each of the relationships I’ve had in the past, I always end up as the side chick. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP 

By JUST BRENDA
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Hi Brenda,

I’m 25 and single. In each of the relationships I’ve had in the past, I always end up as the side chick. What I mean by "ending up" is that it always turns out that the guy has a girlfriend a wife somewhere. It’s happened to me four times now and it’s made me want to give up pursuing any relationship at all. The truth is that I long to be in a loving, faithful relationship so tell me, am I being too trusting of people? Is something wrong with me? Am I normal?

Faith

Hey Faith,

There could be many answers to your dilemma, but let me try and narrow it down to you. Either the problem is you, or the problem is them.

Are you incredibly gullible? Do you keep meeting men in the same places, which is why you keep meeting the same kind of men?

Not to say that you can't meet a nice man at the club or a terrible man at the rave, but we all know the places that side chicks and those looking for them frequent. It is an open secret.

Perhaps change your hunting ground, and go to places where your common interests are shared and then cultivate an internal wall before you fall too hard and are too blind to see that you are the other woman.

Also, go with your friends who are better judges of personality than you are. We all have that friend who can always see what people are trying to hide.

In all honesty, I think the problem is the men.

There are too many men who are not interested in building with a woman, and are overly interested in what they can get from a woman, and have no qualms about getting what they want because the demand and supply ratios are too heavily in their favour.

At the end of the day, relationships are difficult things and finding them is almost as hard as keeping them. That kissing too many frogs statement is said because it's true.

On the other hand, singlehood is always a viable option...

Do you have a problem for Brenda? E-mail: [email protected]