JUST BRENDA: Why won’t she let me visit her house?

I’ve been dating a former workmate for about three months now but I’ve noticed a strange pattern of behaviour. She never wants me to come over to her place to see her. PHOTO | FILE | NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • When I asked her why she was allowing this to happen, she said that now she wants to move to another location due to the disturbance and that she won’t be seeing him often if she finds a new place.
  • But let's not jump the gun – maybe she just doesn't want you to meet her kid and is scared to tell you so – it can be very sensitive where children are concerned.
  • Do you have a problem to share with Brenda? E-mail: [email protected]

Hi Brenda,

I’ve been dating a former workmate for about three months now but I’ve noticed a strange pattern of behaviour. She never wants me to come over to her place to see her. She claims that her former boyfriend with whom she has a child with sometimes comes to her house unexpectedly yet she told me back then that they broke up.

When I asked her why she was allowing this to happen, she said that now she wants to move to another location due to the disturbance and that she won’t be seeing him often if she finds a new place...is this really making sense or she's living with some other man at her place right now?

 

Dear Clueless Clive,

Your former workmate who is supposedly dating you doesn't sound like she is really dating you. I assume the offence has arisen from the fact that she has visited you at your place before? And the reason she gives is quite flimsy – if the man is a former boyfriend, then it shouldn't matter whether you're there or not. But let's not jump the gun – maybe she just doesn't want you to meet her kid and is scared to tell you so – it can be very sensitive where children are concerned. However, perhaps wait until she moves into the new place to hear what excuse she gives you then – just for a little excitement before you break up. If she can't be up front with you three months in, she's definitely not going to bother when she moves either.