JUST BRENDA: Will my baby mama ruin my new relationship?

Hi Brenda,

I dated this girl for three years (since 2015) and everything was okay until the day she conceived.

I was still in college at the time so her parents took care of her while she was pregnant.

However, I catered for all their needs when she gave birth. I was therefore surprised when my baby mama started behaving oddly soon after giving birth.

She started posting pictures of different men on her WhatsApp status and when I confronted her about the same, she would be rude and lie to me that they were her cousins and that some were her friends. I decided to leave her.

Later after college in 2017, I forgave her and asked her to marry me but she refused, giving me fake reasons. In December 2018, I went to meet her and asked her to be my wife since I now had a stable income but she still refused.

I only slept with her once and she conceived again in February 2016 and since then, she has refused to sleep with me again.

This year, I decided to move on and I met this lady who was my college mate.

We have been dating for a month now but I fear my baby mama might be a problem in our lives if I decide to marry her. Please help.

Hi, 

Why are you scared of being disturbed, or are you worried that you'll go back to your ex? If you still have feelings for her, you should worry more about that. If not, then you're OK. Your ex has clearly shown she doesn't want you.

If she does, she sure has a funny way of showing it. If she cannot communicate her wants and needs like an adult, then you shouldn't be with her in the first place.

Like you said - she can continue with the men in her WhatsApp picture, and you can continue with the girl you have in real life. 

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