JUST BRENDA: I broke up with her but she won't let me go

Thursday December 14 2017

When I told her that we should go our separate ways she started sending me text messages claiming she loves me. PHOTO | FILE | NATION MEDIA GROUP

When I told her that we should go our separate ways she started sending me text messages claiming she loves me. PHOTO | FILE | NATION MEDIA GROUP 

By ABIGAIL ARUNGA
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Dear Brenda,

I have been trying to break up with my girlfriend but she refuses to accept it. She even comes over to my parent's house to beg me to take her back but I have had enough.

We dated for seven years before we got engaged but her behaviour after joining college makes me unable to trust her anymore.

She started ignoring my calls and would dictate what times I should call her. My verbal declarations of love to her were dismissed and my posts on her social media profile deleted.

Though she was always online she made it clear that I should stop writing romantic messages to her publicly. This hurt me because I would see her flirting with other men online and even calling them 'baby'. I have never cheated on her despite always being approached by other women.

I am no longer sure of her commitment to this relationship and I have lost interest in her. I used to send her money for upkeep money but I have stopped.

When I told her that we should go our separate ways she started sending me text messages claiming she loves me and urging me to wait for her to complete her studies next year so we can get married. She has promised to change her behaviour but I am afraid she will hurt me again. Kindly advise me. Kimutai, Nairobi

Hi Kimutai,
I'm sorry that you are going through this pain. Your concerns are definitely valid. One does not want to commit to someone who does not reciprocate love.

In my opinion, your relationship is definitely over. A lot can change in seven years and it's possible that her feelings towards you are no longer the same as they were at the beginning of your courtship.

Calling other men pet names such as 'baby' in public is disrespectful. I think she is acting a fool and when she has you wrapped around her finger again, she will revert to her old ways. She has low regard for you and your relationship.

You have two options: Take her back and let her continue to manipulate you to the altar or cut your losses and run. I strongly believe that option one is best.