alexa JUST BRENDA: Dad won’t allow me to marry a single mother - Daily Nation

JUST BRENDA: Dad won’t allow me to marry a single mother

Sunday August 18 2019

How do I tell her about my dad's stand and that there is no way we are going to get married?

How do I tell her about my dad's stand and that there is no way we are going to get married? PHOTO | FOTOSEARCH 

JUST BRENDA
By JUST BRENDA
More by this Author

Hi Brenda,

I have a girlfriend who has a 3-year-old boy from a previous relationship. I am in love with her but the problem is my dad. There is no way he is going to let me marry a woman who has a child.

My question is, how do I tell her about my dad's stand and that there is no way we are going to get married? I really need to marry because am turning 30 this year.

Hi,

You don’t have to get married at 30, or at any specific age for that matter. Marriage is the kind of club that can be joined at any time.

As for your father, he is already in the club – and cannot really stop you from marrying who you want.

Advertisement

You use this word ‘allow’…this is the thing – if you are old enough to get married, then you are old enough to stand up to your father about who you can and cannot marry, because really, he is not the one marrying her.

You are the one who ‘allows’ yourself your own marriage. Talk to him to try and understand where he is coming from, and then clearly state your case as to why you are going forward with the marriage.

If you love her, stand up for her and set a precedent for your marriage. If you cower before your father, and bend to his will, she will lose faith in you immediately, in terms of how the union will proceed.

Talk to him, man to man – he may not agree with you, but at least he’ll respect you, and you will know you tried.

Do you have a problem to share with Just Brenda? Send your questions to [email protected]

Advertisement