JUST BRENDA: My son’s father refuses to provide for him

Hi Brenda,

Would you advise someone to seek child support legally from the father of her child? What options as a mother do I have since communication no longer works? He has a job and it’s my opinion that he just doesn't want to support us. I don't ask for a lot, just what the baby needs. I can handle rent and other personal bills. But still he lies, and when he is short of lies, he refuses to answer my calls.

I'm straining financially since all that I earn is channelled to ensure our son’s basic needs are met. I'm barely left with any savings.

Yes.

There are certain times in your life as a parent in which you are perfectly warranted to bring the law into your parenting.

These times are inclusive of but not limited to: when a man acts like you made the baby by yourself and impregnated yourself and then gave birth by yourself and of your own volition; when you have tried to communicate with said sperm donor that assistance is required and he needs to chip in to genetic material that he contributed to; when all other means of asking have proved useless such as through his parents; when you have made it clear that you will have no recourse but to teach him how to be a man and you will spank him with the long arm of the law if need be because he clearly only responds to authorities higher than his own flesh and blood.

This man is acting like his own child, and he needs a gentle legal reminder in the right direction. Please distance your emotions and guilt from this – he certainly is.

Please, also, do not hesitate – nothing you are doing now is working, and no, he will not change. And once you say you are going to do it, then do it – remember, children work best on a promise system.

If you say you're going to do something, do it, because they won't believe your threat next time.

Do you have a problem to share with Brenda? Please e-mail: [email protected]