Guys, here is what NOT to get her for Valentine’s Day

As if buying gifts for your loved ones is not difficult enough, here comes the day the world has decided should be marked as the ultimate declaration of affection to add salt to the injury!

If this is the only day you feel pressure to show love, then this is an even bigger problem in the grand scheme of things.

But, now that we are here, and you do feel the pressure, here’s what not to get her on Valentine’s Day:

A COLD SHOULDER

Some guys choose to ignore Valentine’s completely, but their significant others are definitely not doing the same. Find out if your partner actually wants a gift instead of assuming she’s above all of it. And for heaven’s sake, don’t make a silly excuse like it is mid-month and there is no money, all right? You knew Valentine’s Day was coming. Think of it like a bill that you know you have to pay. When I say pay, I don’t mean necessarily financially. At least cook the woman a meal or something. Show her you care. If you don’t, then why are you reading this? The side piece article is a whole different one. And, don’t do the shady thing of having a fight the day before so you can claim anger. Love and intelligence are supposed to supersede all that, no?

A HISTORY LESSON

We get it. You’ve chosen the Stooge orbah humbug approach. No one cares about Valentine’s, it is a stupid idea perpetuated by commercialism and capitalism, did St Valentine even exist anyway…. don’t tell her that. She doesn’t care. She wants a gift, whether it matters or not, whether the saint existed or not, ok? If you’re so against the day, give her a present the day before and the day after. Your sanctimonious protests will still be felt, rest assured.

A GENERIC GIFT

Flowers die, by the way, and chocolate doesn’t help anyone who is on a diet, ok? It’s February. People are still trying to cling to their New Year’s resolutions of gyming and avoiding sugar. And please, haven’t we had enough giant stuffed toys? You want her to lug that monstrosity around all day? Unless she actually likes that sort of thing, in which case, by all means, go ahead. But if not, put some thought into it, would you, so that you don’t melt away into the same memories of all the other Valentine’s she’s ever had. Sugar-free chocolates? A single rose every week of February so that the feeling isn’t just for today? Make it lasting.

A PRESUMPTUOUS GIFT

I just saw @bintim on Twitter talking about how a friend of hers was gifted sufurias. What is this, 1680? Sufurias? To cook for you? That’s just as bad as a toilet brush. You can’t win with homemaking gifts – again, unless she specifically likes or asked for them. Sufurias are usually translated to – forget romance, let’s try utilitarian. If we wanted utilitarian, it would have been called Useful Day, as opposed to Valentine’s. Don’t even get me started on what the gift of a toilet brush means – other than your relationship is probably going down the drain.

A LARGE, OVERCOMPENSATING GIFT

 Did you do something wrong? Are you taking this opportunity to remedy it? I don’t trust your methods because it feels like you are hiding something from the main point, which is whatever mortal sin you committed. Just say sorry – if we’re going with Justin Bieber, it’s never too late – and then figure out a way to incrementally support that, starting with not doing whatever you did again, and proving that you’ve changed.

So what to get her? Something thoughtful. Doesn’t have to be large or expensive, unless it was in your February budget already. Basically, get her the usual - more of the love that you should have been serving up anyway all year long.