I no longer worry about what people will say about me

A while ago, I wrote about an experience I had in a matatu on my way to work. The following day, a former colleague wrote me an e-mail reacting to what I had written, or rather, what I had “revealed” in this column: that I use matatus.

“You’re an editor at the Nation, why would you tell people that you take a matatu to work?” he wrote.

I was perplexed because honestly, I did not see why this would shock anyone, or even why this fact would be strange or newsworthy. I of course deduced what he was implying, that someone with the title of “editor” should surely own a car, and should never be caught dead in a matatu — or, at the very least, should never admit that he or she travels using this mode of transport, which this former colleague obviously looks down on.

After I read that e-mail, I shook my head with incredulity. It brought to the fore the crippling tendency many of us have of first wondering what “people” will think or say before we do anything. This, I think, is our greatest undoing, our main stumbling block, what prevents us from moving forward, what holds us back from achieving great things, what prevents us from living a full life.

True, most of us go through a phase, as we take this journey called life, where we excessively worry about how others will react to what we do, what we wear, where we eat – basically how we live our lives. I too went through that phase, which I have thankfully outgrown. I have realised that as you grow older, many of the factors that once made you anxious no longer faze you. You simply go about your life the way you see fit, “people” be damned.

Last week, I had the pleasure of reading Mathew Gathua’s story. Mathew is the founder of Valentine Cake House, which you have probably heard of, or is even the bakery you normally buy birthday and graduation cakes from. Mathew, in his late 40s, did not complete secondary school because his mother, a single parent, could not afford the school fees. But his lack of an education did not hinder him from breaking away from the cycle of poverty. Twenty one years after setting up his cake business, where he was once the baker, marketer, delivery guy and everything in between, his business now has 18 branches, and he employs hundreds of young people, majority of whom he trains from scratch.

You’re probably wondering what this gentleman’s story has to do with the subject I started with, that of matatus and who should, or not, use them. Well, one of the questions Mathew was asked in this interview was whether success had changed him, he is, after all, a wealthy man now, a far cry from the poor young man who could barely afford a meal a day. Without hesitation, he said no, if anything, he added, having money had only humbled him more, that though the money had made his life much more comfortable, he still did many of the things he did before the money came along. Once in a while, for instance, whenever it is “convenient” he simply boards a matatu to wherever it is he needs to go.

Earlier on in the interview, he had been asked what one long-held desire he fulfilled when he became financially independent. It turns out that he had dreamt of owning a BMW convertible for a long time, a car he finally bought three years ago. I am no car enthusiast, so my knowledge of cars is very general. To have a clearer picture of what one looks like, I took the liberty of googling pictures of BMW convertibles – for sure, this car is no matatu. No, far from it.

And yet the owner has no hang ups about hopping into one whenever it is necessary. Now here is a man who goes about his life unworried about what “people” will say or think of him.

[email protected]; Twitter: @cnjerius. The writer is the editor, MyNetwork, in the Daily Nation