Calling on all my friends to attend Fiolina’s harambee
I went to the county headquarters where I made invitation cards. I took time drafting the invite. On two of the corners of the card was a photo I took with Fiolina in a studio last year while on the other two corners was a photo I took in the studio recently wearing my new blue Kaunda suit. ILLUSTRATION | JOHN NYAGAH
What you need to know:
- All along I was trying to raise the fees by myself but I recently read somewhere that a problem shared is a problem solve.
- I therefore decided to share with some of my friends about my predicament. There being no holiday tuition, all respectable teachers’ roads lead to Hitler’s very early, every day. I joined them on Tuesday.
- Indeed the lifestyle of our MCA had changed drastically. Within a year, he has built a new house, bought a car, married a second wife and was building rental houses on a plot at the market centre. Even my brother Pius had indicated to me that he was considering contesting for the same seat come 2017.
When I promised to take Fiolina, the wonderful laugh of my enviable life, to Mosoriot starting this September, it was not a promise I was too keen to meet; not because of any ill-intention but mainly because although the heart was willing, the pocket was grumbling.
I did not know where the money was would come from and for the last two weeks I have agonised on the same.
There was no way I could take a loan since my pay slip was too busy paying for the motorcycle and some loan I took to upgrade my lifestyle after I was promoted to Deputy HM – it cannot accommodate anything extra. I could not ask my brother Pius to assist since we differed a few months ago over a cow of his that died while in my custody.
All along I was trying to raise the fees by myself but I recently read somewhere that a problem shared is a problem solve.
I therefore decided to share with some of my friends about my predicament. There being no holiday tuition, all respectable teachers’ roads lead to Hitler’s very early, every day. I joined them on Tuesday.
I found almost all the teachers from this village and its environs. Saphire, Lutta and Kizito were there. Rasto, Nyayo, Alphayo, Rashid, were all “in the yard”, as Nyayo calls it.
Kizito had announced that in the 2017 elections, he will be contesting to be an MCA and this had led to heated discussions. “You can’t make it,” Saphire was telling him. That seat has a lot of money and I can tell you that all the big people in Nairobi will land here in 2017 to try their luck.”
“MCA is better than MP or senator or even governor,” said Kizito. It has money I tell you, just look at how the life of our MCAs have changed.”
Indeed the lifestyle of our MCA had changed drastically. Within a year, he has built a new house, bought a car, married a second wife and was building rental houses on a plot at the market centre. Even my brother Pius had indicated to me that he was considering contesting for the same seat come 2017. “People do not know how good this thing is,” he told me.
I wanted to share my predicament with everyone but I had no confidence because I was as sober as a daisy. But once I had gulped down three pickups, it was like I had injected myself with a dose of confidence.
“Sijui nitatoa wapi school fees ya Fiolina this September,” I said.
HIGHER EDUCATION
“I thought she finished Form Four,” said Alphayo. “You mean she is teaching our children without any education?”
“No, she is going to Mosoriot TTC to be a teacher like me,” I said.
“What!” exclaimed Hitler. “That is good but are you sure you want to be equal with your wife?”
“We will not be equal,” I answered. “By the time she graduates I will be a headmaster.”
“I can’t allow my wife to go to TTC,” said Saphire. “If I were you, I would be thinking of how to stop her from going to Mosoriot.”
“Ati Saphire said he can’t allow his wife to go to college?” wondered Lutta. “How can you allow and you don’t even have a wife.” Everyone laughed at Saphire.
“Dre if I were you, I would make Fiolina start vomiting every morning,” said Kizito. “You will not hear that Mosoriot story.” I did not understand what he meant but everyone supported it.
“And once she is through, you ensure she starts vomiting again immediately,” added Alphayo.
“How much is the school fees?” asked Rasto.
“It’s about Sh60,000 including shopping and pocket money,” I answered.
“Haiya, kwani anaenda kuwa professor,” exclaimed Alphayo. “Hiyo pesa yote!”
“Hiyo pesa mtu hawezi afford,” said Rashid. “Labda ufanye harambee.”
“Yes,” agreed Lutta. “Only harambee can help you raise such money. You have so many friends Dre, you will easily raise this money if you call for the harambee.”
Almost everyone agreed to come for the harambee but everyone said they did not want to be guests of honour.
“Talk to the MCA or MP if he can be the guest of honour,” said Kizito. “We will be there to support you. If yours go well I will also plan for one to sort out some issue that is disturbing me.”
That evening I really thought about the harambee idea. I discussed this with Fiolina and the more we thought about it the more it looked like a good idea. We had to look for a good guest of honour. I could not call the MCA because we were not on good terms and I did not know how to contact the MP. I tried calling my brother Pius but he did not pick nor did he respond to my SMSs.
The next morning, I called Bensouda and discussed the matter with her. “I will be more than ready to assist you and I won’t mind being the chief guest,” she said.
“But get other good people to assist me.” I went and saw Rev Apostle Elkana, the Spiritual superintendent of THOAG (The Holiest of All Ghosts) Tabernacle Assembly. He agreed to assist Bensouda. I gathered enough courage and called Nzomo.
“Hi, long time no see you, how is that great village?” she cheerfully said. After I told her about my problem, she responded positively: “Dre for you I will do anything. Anything Dre. You are such a handsome gentleman.”
HUMBLE INVITATION
Everything was going on well and after talking to a few people who would also assist, we settled on next Sunday, August 24 as the day of the harambee. As a condition to be a guest, Apostle Elkana demanded that his church be the venue.
With the date and guests known, I went to the county headquarters where I made invitation cards. I took time drafting the invite. The final product was quite inviting – featuring the best English that can be found this side of the Sahara. Excerpts:
“It is with palpable honour and obedient respect that Mwalimu Andrew, Mwisho wa Lami’s pride; renowned teacher and academically accomplished scholar, has the pleasure of inviting you for a major fundraising (harambee) to raise college fees for Mrs Fiolina Dre, the wonderful laugh of Mwalimu’s enviable life and reigning Duchess of Mwisho wa Lami; who has deservedly been admitted for advanced further studies at the prestigious and highly respected Mosoriot Teachers College on August 24 at 2 p.m. to be domiciled at THOAG (The Holiest of All Ghosts) Tabernacle Assembly, Mwisho wa Lami.
The esteemed guest of honour will be Miss Skastina Majani, Principal and Senior Headmistress, Mwisho wa Lami Primary School; to be ably assisted by:
Right Rev Bishop Dr Apostle Elkana Manasse, Miss Diana Cammila Nzomo, Tutor Saphire Socrates Menge, Nyayo Esquire Albuquerque, Kizito Godwin Reagan, Mr Hitler Shipakusi, Mrs Electina Fiona Atika, Rasto Mamboleo among many other generous volunteers.
Come One, Come two, Come three come many.”
On two of the corners of the card was a photo I took with Fiolina in a studio last year while on the other two corners was a photo I took in the studio recently wearing my new blue Kaunda suit.
I printed about 70 copies which I have been distributing. But because I can’t reach everyone, please consider this a special invite to you to come and help us raise funds for this very worthy cause. See you in Mwisho wa Lami next Sunday.
