A handbag tells a lot about you

An urban legend is told of two great friends walking down a crowded street, the kind of place you get the further you walk eastwards, off Moi Avenue.

On this particular day, dusty and hot, they strolled arm in arm, lost in storytelling as women are wont to do.

Several steps into their conversation, they were rather violently interrupted when a young man simulating an accident, bumped into one of them, compelling her to lose her grip and then swiftly took off with her handbag.

Only God knows why he looked back but when he did, he recognised the other woman to be an old childhood friend. Without much ceremony, he handed back the bag.

The moral of this story is why do women carry handbags? What is it in and about them that compels an attacker’s imagination so much they have to have it and how do they pick the target?

In self-defence class, women are taught to throw their bags at the attacker as far as they can, and run in the opposite direction. It underscores the valuable nature of the handbag, proving the emotionally attachment women seem to have with it.

After all, she chooses to routinely ferry things out of her house and bought it with the intention of having it as a companion for the longest time. It goes beyond making a fashion statement.

Is unproportional
The same rules of logic apply. A small woman should avoid big bags because they only make her disappear, and big women should not buy palm-sized bags because that is unproportional.

It is smarter as well to take a clutch to a cocktail rather than a bulky bag.

A handbag is independent. It does not have match your accessories or neatly blend in with your shoes.

As with anything else you wear, you should first like it before buying and try it on.

Too tight straps on a handbag leave a crease on your sleeve unless your wardrobe consists entirely of tightly fitted vests while loose straps offer bad support.

An ill-fitting bag is the one that makes you over-arch your shoulder blade to hold it up, throwing off the alignment of your spine. Trends in bags are as varied as shoes because buying a bag is accommodating a lifestyle.

But did you know every woman has a bag type? Not everyone will be drawn to the same kind. Friends and colleagues carry bags that we admire but would not necessarily buy. Is it however true that you can tell a lot about a woman by merely glancing at her handbag?

How apt is this for instance? Are you outgoing, socially active with a large group of friends? Do not be amazed if your bag weighs less. Most, if not all your life, is out there rather than split into pieces in your handbag.

Party girls also throw in a change of outfits complete with shoes in what is dubbed the sirudi nyumbani bag. If you are a quiet observer of life, chances are you carry books, magazines or a laptop to occupy your time and entertain you in between your activities, which makes it bigger, heavier and possibly more cluttered.

Something smaller

Are you in your 20s? Do not be surprised if that makes you reach for that flashy, interesting looking bag that is more about fashion than style. Who cares if it goes out of style in six months.

Chances are that by then, you will find something more eye catching. You may also pick something smaller because the idea of a handbag is still growing on you.

In your 30s, you want a bag that is expensive, sophisticated and durable. You want it to blend in with everything you have and outshine your peers at the same time.

You’re more likely attracted to designer labels. Now is when you begin to acquire, and seek out original, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada, Chanel and the like. You are juggling a lot of things in your life so it makes your bag even bigger.

In your 40s, your bags are mostly made of hardier stuff because you have had mishaps and handbag malfunctions.

You want real leather, not imitation and want it to last long enough to be handed down to your daughter.

In your 30s and 40s your handbags are also more likely to attract envy and you could easily teach a thing or two to fashion upstarts. But as you grow older, your are learning to minimize your life further so your bag grows smaller.

In your 50s sometimes you simply forget it. That has nothing to do with senility and everything to do with wondering what the point of having one is.

You have probably gone for days functioning without it, reaching for it or feeling its ever-heavy presence pressed against your side.

By your 60s, if you have a bag chances are it is just about as small as a starter bag with expertly pared down content such as an ID card, wallet and a small tub of Vaseline because as far as you are concerned, nothing beats the thing you groomed your children and grandchildren with.