Books swap reveals pupil’s love letter to teacher Kuya

"As long as he still loves skirts and schoolgirls, Kuya will never grow in this teaching profession,” said Mrs Atika a month after Kuya joined our school. That was three years ago.

As a fellow man; and one who has, many times, been accused of such before, I defended Kuya vigorously; saying that was a strategy that female teachers use to besmirch good male teachers.

In any case, I had no evidence of such behaviour from Kuya. Even if I had such evidence, doesn’t the Bible talk about when to remove the speck in your brother’s eyes?

“Why do we love bringing down any teacher whom we think will overtake us?” I asked her. “Having gone through such accusations, I can tell you it is not easy. You destroy someone’s career just like that.”

Those were the days when I was still naïve, when I still thought that all people were born good, and when I still hadn’t accepted that Kuya was up to no good.

BAD BLOOD

As you know, relations between Kuya and myself started getting bad afterwards, after it became clear that he had an eye on my office — the office of the deputy head teacher. Kuya has used all manner of tricks to kick me out of this office but, as you know,Mungu sio Athumani;I am still in this office, holding on strong.

You will remember that last week Bensouda disowned the current Class Eight students, saying she did not expect much from them. Most of the Class Eight teachers disagreed with her, saying the people who marked the mock exams she had brought were too strict.

“Madam Headmistress, we interact with these students every day and we can tell you they are better than the marks those guys — whoever they are — gave them,” said Kuya.

Madam Ruth agreed with him. “In any case, historically, mock and other internal exams are usually harder than KCPE or even KCSE, so students always get better marks in KCSE.”

“That may be true but I think you people are too lenient when it comes to marking,” said Bensouda. “I don’t know why you do this, but I can tell you it is lack of professionalism.”

To avert this, Sella suggested that we exchange books during marking. “Class Seven teachers can mark Class Eight books and vice versa,” she suggested. “This will help address any case of leniency or favouritism.”

Kuya vehemently opposed this. “If you can’t trust me to mark, then you can’t trust me to teach,” he insisted. The matter was put to vote and teachers agreed to exchange books for marking.

Bensouda directed that the exchange be done immediately. That was last Tuesday.

“I think Bensouda was right,” said Lena later that afternoon as she marked Math books. Kuya teaches math in Class Eight.

“We are lying to these pupils, especially some girls, by giving them marks they do not deserve.” Kuya was not in the office at the time. Nzomo was, and as expected, she defended Kuya vehemently.

“Kuya is a KNEC national examiner,” Nzomo said. “The way he marks is the way KNEC expects math to be marked, don’t just accuse him without understanding."

“Math is multiple choices and is marked by the computer,” rebutted Lena. “There are no national standards for marking maths.”

LOVE LETTER

But there was more drama the next morning.

“My goodness, what is this I am seeing?” exclaimed Lena loudly.

Everybody asked for more details

“A letter in one of the books. Read this,” Lena said. Mrs Atika read it. Excerpts:

My one and only Kuya. I take this marvellous moment, using my golden pen, to jot you this missive on this sheet of Panpaper. Ever since I looked at you the first day, my hurt summersalts every time I see you again.

Kuya, you are the most handsome and very smart teacher here, especially yourmaskwembe which are very attractive. I love you, from top-bottom of my hurt.

With you, I can never concentrate in class. I am even trembling as I jot this missive to you my love.

When I think of you, I don’t think. If I think of you in the evening, I throw away the food on the wall. I cannot eat, therefore, when I think of you at lunch time or even super.

Kuya, I will like us to meet somewhere with you. I will be going to mySenje this Sunday. Let's us meet at our usual place. Nzomo should not know.

Kuya, I love you more than Nzomo.

Yours fantastically in love with you, Mrs Electina Awinja Kuya.

NB: I dedicate to you the song "Kigeugeu" by Jaguar.

SCANDAL

“This is scandalous, at the very least,” said Sella. “How can a whole teacher receive such a letter?”

“This is a lie,” said Kuya. “You put that letter in that book to accuse me. I knew this was the plan all along.”

“I left these books here yesterday, and I have just continued from where I left,” said Lena.

“Plus, I have heard Nzomo complain of this girl Electina before,” said Sella. “In fact, Electina’s father complained last term.”

“When I heard you people say we exchange books for marking, I was very sure there was something cooking. But I didn’t know Lena, whom I rejected long ago, was still jealous of my happy marriage life,” said Kuya.

“Which happy marriage are you having, when Nzomo has to fight with her students over you?” asked Lena. “And I have never wanted you! Never ever?”

“Then why did you plant the letter in one of the books?” he asked.

“I swear to God, I did not,” said Lena.

“You did,” answered Kuya. “This is no even Electina’s handwriting?” he said.

“Oh, so you know Electina’s handwriting?” asked Nzomo, who all along had been quiet.

“It’s not what you are thinking,” said Kuya. “You would have been worried if it were me accused of writing a letter. Any schoolgirl can write any letter.”

“Really!” exclaimed Nzomo as she left the staffroom.

We were interrupted by Bensouda, who after finding out what had happened, called Kuya to her office. They stayed there for over half an hour.

When he left her office, he continued with his work as if nothing had happened. And that letter has never been mentioned ever since. At least not in the staffroom!