Day they forced me to go into quarantine

As you can recall, a few days ago while we were having a good time at Hitler’s, Rasto coughed, making us all ran away. I arrived at home to find Fiolina, the laugh of my life, furious, and she only allowed me in the house after showering.

Even then, I was sprayed with Doom before I could start interacting with people, but from a distance.

Everyone avoided Hitler’s as we waited for 14 days to elapse, when the virus would have died of starvation. However, Hitler started offering home delivery services.

He carried the liquor in a heavy coat and would sell to anyone he met on the way. It was a better business model than serving people at his home for he managed to sell to villagers who would not otherwise visit his home. I did not benefit from these services for Fiolina would never allow Hitler to come to our home.

BORED
I was getting bored staying at home and nowhere to go. Hitler’s, where I could buy a drink on credit, was closed, and I did not have money to go to Cosmos until last Sunday when I received a call from Kizito.

You know Kizito. He is a distant cousin of mine, the husband of Wairimu, my Mulamwa from Murang’a whom we all call Nimo. Kizito called to say he was around having arrived from Nairobi a few days earlier.

"I ran away from the boring Nairobi only to find Mwisho wa Lami more boring," he said, asking if we could meet. I told him it would be dangerous.

But he told me not to panic. “Corona ni homa tu, we will all get it,” he said, then added: “We will all soon be immune to it, so better build your immunity early.”

I remained reluctant until he said where he wanted us to meet. "Let’s meet at Cosmos bar and have something to kill the boredom." Who could say ‘No’ to an invite for a drink? I slipped out of the house using the back door, and used shortcuts in people’s farms until I arrived at Cosmos Bar.

Kizito joined me a few minutes later and ordered for drinks. I told him how I had slipped from the house. “That’s why I left Nairobi. Nimo never wanted me to leave the house, hata kwenda kinyozi,” he complained. The waiter kept refiling our glasses until the owner arrived at around 4pm. He was shocked to see us, and advised the waiter not to come near us.

INFECTED
“Kizito came from Nairobi, these are the people bringing corona to the village,” he said. Alarmed, the waiter started washing his hands and face. Shortly afterwards he started sweating profusely.
“You people have infected my waiter with corona,” shouted the owner. Within minutes, people started milling around Cosmos Bar, shouting at us.

“Dre ulipata corona kwa Hitler juzi sasa unaileta Cosmos?” Wondered Anindo, Nyayo’s wife. “Unataka kutuua ndio upate faida gani?” Others believed I was okay and that the carrier of the virus was Kizito.

“Shida ni Kizito,” said Susana, Apostle Elkana’s wife. “Huyu hatujui akitoka Nairobi alipitana na wagonjwa wangapi.”

As the crowd kept growing, the news reached the chief, and she arrived a few minutes later. The waiter started sneezing. A few minutes later, Fiolina and my father arrived. “How did you leave the house to join someone from Nairobi?” Fiolina shouted. “Why do you want to kill us with corona? Why Dre? Why?”

After some time, the chief announced that Kizito and I must go into quarantine. For Kizito, there was no major problem since he had a home, where he could stay alone.

“I have already done five days and have nine more to go,” he said. The chief asked him why he had stopped self-isolating but he said he was not sick at all.

“Tulieni. We will all get corona, tuwache uoga.” This sent everyone into shock.

“Tema hiyo mate,” said Anindo.

“Hatutapata corona, Riswa,” said Apostle Elkana’s wife. The chief asked people to clear the way for Kizito to leave.

“Dre hatarudi kwangu,” declared Fiolina. “Hatutaki corona!” My wife had rejected me.

SOCIAL DISTANCING

Shortly afterwards, my mother arrived and declared that she would take me home with or without corona. The chief restrained her from greeting me.

We then walked to my parents’ home, with the chief ensuring we were observing social distancing. When we arrived, the chief said we could not stay in the same house. So it was decided that I would stay in my old Simba that had remained unused since I moved to my home.

It has been one long week. Food is usually dropped off at the door. I only bathe at night and no one touches my basin. As for short and long call, let us not go there, please.

Fiolina only came once to bring food and clothes, but my mother did not like that idea. She told Fiolina to start arranging to move away from my house. “Wewe unataka tu mtoto wangu wakati wa raha pekee,” she said. “Shida ikitokea kidogo unakimbia.”

The only person who has been visiting me is Apostle Elkana. Regardless of being warned, he has been entering the house to pray for me. He says corona has nothing on him.

He said God told him he wants to use him through me to show the world that the virus is curable. But I don’t understand why they say I will be cured yet I am quite healthy. I haven’t even sneezed.

Apostle Elkana added that corona was brought to the world to stop people from sinning. “You can see even bars have been closed.” I can’t wait for my quarantine to end.

Just one week to go and we will all know who between my mother and Fiolina will have me. Apostle Elkana said once I am healed, all I need is to channel my tithe to his church to avoid contracting corona again!